Kure-nai 03: Sudden Spouts of Sagacious Thoughts
After watching episode 4 last week, I was ready to churn out an insightful post on the episode, but it turned out to be a total mind-fart. It’s not that I had a sudden Kure-nai writer’s block (I wouldn’t want that to happen D: ), but rather because the post I had in mind for episode 3 continued to linger in my head, as though haunting me for taking it for granted O_O So here I am, writing down this long-overdue piece dedicated for episode 3 and the sudden burst of thoughts I had thanks to that train scene (and also some bits in Murasaki x Tamaki’s convo). OGT already gave his insightful thoughts on this one, but I thought it wouldn’t hurt if I expound on it a little further, and add my own personal touch.
The train scene in episode 3 really hit close to home, as it mirrored one of the great struggles I faced with for years — being assertive and confrontational, having the guts to stand up for what I believe in, a sincerity vs hypocrisy struggle – a struggle I’d like to think as ever-present in non-liberal Asian countries like Japan and ours, among others.
A [Confusing] Prelude
Feel free to skip this part, or just beware of the confuzzled cluttered thoughts x__x
I would’ve done this too, way back when I was a kid.
Everything was wayyy simple when we were kids. We were taught about what’s good and bad, as though they were simple black and white kind of things. For example: early on, we learn that talking bad about people, criticizing and being brutally frank is not good, because it’ll offend the person and make him/her think less of himself/herself. And being the brutally frank outspoken little kid I was (similar to Murasaki), I was reprimanded for my actions because I was going against this social norm. But then things get complicated when both the ‘good’ and ‘bad’ we thought turns out to be far more complicated — it has these what we call ‘gray areas’, as was shown in the train scene in this episode of Kure-nai.
With regards to the supposedly negative frankness for example, we later learn that while doing this isn’t the most acceptable thing, it’s also not good if we become hypocrites and put on the pretense that we’re friends with a certain someone when in fact we are repulsive of him/her. And depending on how we were brought up, other factors such as self-consciousness and lack of confidence might come into play and render us unable to speak our minds (which is exactly what happened in my case).
As for a ‘good’ that suddenly become skewed and complicated, we have the concept of morality and kindness as was shown in this episode, which I could relate to very well. You see, I used to be a cheerful little kid who readily befriended people I have close encounters with, may it be in school, in church, etc. And as I was taught to be kind and generous, I did so to the people I meet, regardless of their race, social standing, etc. But then even these turned out to be far more complicated, partially due to my Chinese upbringing’s jaded and partial view of society. Naturally, there’s this cynical view that not all people are good or worth befriending or being kind to, especially non-Chinese (yeah my family’s racist and all that, probably because of past experiences which made them even more cynical than they already are =.=; ).
Despite not fully embracing this Chinese mentality (racist is never a good thing), I won’t deny its influence in my behavior, especially way back the immature stage of my life (the identity crisis stage). And when our Chinese calculative mentality kicks in, we start rationalizing things in terms simply doing things that benefit us, and ignoring the rest (i.e. being apathetic to the plight of other people). The lack of open-ness in our family, where we were made to conform to a set of rules and beliefs without having to question them, also didn’t help in making things better. It just further blurred my sense of individualism so to speak, as I allowed myself to be brainwashed by all these =[
On The Murasaki’s in Society
Murasaki and the apathetic people.
Going back to the train scene, it should be noted that the Murasaki’s in our society who fight for the idealisms they believe in, especially in public, can either be deemed admirable or plain stupid. First of all, you’d have to note that there are no tangible benefits for the defender of justice in these situations. Aside from causing herself additional stress due to getting worked up, she is making herself an open target to criticisms of the public eye — the peace-loving people who dislikes public scandals, those will view Murasaki’s behavior in a negative light. Now if the one being reprimanded steps back and accepts his/her fault, well, mission accomplished, but there’s still no benefits in this case (except for an ego-boosting effect perhaps). On the other hand, if the one being reprimanded reacts violently, like the case in Kurenai episode 3, the patriot can only take whatever insults, criticisms, verbal or physical damages that will result from her patriotism.
Defending yourself in public when people disrespect you or treat you like shit can already be difficult, given the issues complicating adult minds like social norms and reasons stated above. It becomes even more difficult if you were to do this for the sake of a stranger, especially if you were brought up to be apathetic. I mean, will you be willing to sacrifice your social comfort zone as well as your reputation, all for the sake of someone, a stranger even? It’s not an easy decision, and more often than not we find ourselves choosing to not leave our safety net and just ignore the situation. It’s for this reason that I look up to people like Murasaki, those who are willing to fight for what they think is right despite knowing that the negative consequences this will result to more often than not outweighs whatever good intentions they have.
While some people really have become stone-cold and apathetic to the plight of other people (which is really sad), I do believe there are those who want to do something about these situations but can’t bring themselves to, like Shinkurou. The older we become, the more we complicate things, and we spend so much time worrying and hesitating only for it to end up as a total act-fart (if there’s such a word).
Evidences of My Assertiveness and Cowardice
…and I only understood it now.
Despite having a certain sense of Murasaki-assertiveness, I do think I’m still a coward like Shinkurou, for the most part. Let’s take for example my day-to-day train commute struggle adventures, where respectable (?) people (regardless of gender) turn into savages the moment the train doors open (or even before it fully opens) – they push, claw, bully, rake, and shove past people without remorse, just go get their way in T__T (They are _that_ excited). I don’t really have the guts (and tactlessness) of Murasaki to reprimand these people the way she did, so I do it subtly, like blurting out sarcastic remarks or giving an EVIL GLARE at these apathetic orcs. It’s half assertiveness and half cowardice, because I still am trying to protect my reputation as I do this.
Another case in point, as I was taking down notes for this post during my commute, there was this insensitive bastard sitting beside me who’s suffering from a Restless Legs Syndrome. This is something done unconsciously, I understand, so I tried not to be pissed. But then he suddenly takes out his cellphone, puts it in full volume, and starts playing his favorite songs without wearing his earphones, as though he wanted the entire train to hear it! This, together with his RLS + conscious stomping to the beat + snapping his fingers in tune with the music, really annoyed the heck out of me T___T I was thinking of reprimanding him for this extremely rude behavior, but it seemed that the other passengers didn’t really care, so I kept silent. I just mumbled a sarcastic remark about the reason why earphones was invented, and I looked at him in the eye to give him an EVIL GLARE, at the very least. But then he was wearing shades, inside the train (so cool, yeah right)! So my glare just got deflected so to speak. I kept silent during most of the train ride, but I swore to myself that if the guy started singing, I will really snap and lash out on him. But it didn’t end up that way (tsk!), and the moment he finally stood up and took his leave, I breathe a sigh of relief and blurted out a sarcastic “Gee, thank you~!â€
Why did I have such a hard time voicing out my complaints to the bastard beside me, when I know it should be the right thing to do? Again, it’s because of the reasons I previously stated. I know for a fact that he was breaching privacy, respect, social harmony or what have you, but at the same time I wouldn’t want to create a public scandal. I look back at that time and I can only imagine how exciting it could’ve been if I scolded that guy right then and there! Sometimes you just have to forget stuff like reputation and do what you really think is right. (Oh, and by now, I think that bastard’s cellphone got stolen because he was OPENLY flaunting it to potential thieves inside the train, and that’s what I call justice!)
Realizations and Challenges
With the experiences I had in my family, school, work, and even in my crazy commute rides, I’ve come to realize that just about everywhere can be a drowning hotspot of individuality if we become passive and blindly follow the norms that society (and other people/institutions) dictate. It’s not that I’m suggesting a deviant or egotistic behavior, but rather practicing critical thinking, in which we should at least question whether a certain norm, rule, or any action is indeed right or wrong. And hopefully with this, we’ll be able to find ourselves, complete with a sense of purpose, and a set of principles which we abide in and fight for.
More often than not, society dictates us to become passive and apathetic, because that’s the way to survive in a cruel world, to get away from any mess as much as possible. But is that what we really want? To become insensitive to the plight of others, to not do anything when you know you should? If you really don’t give a damn, then fine. But if you feel that you have to do something, then nothing should stop you from doing so. Yes you have to set a certain boundary and not go to the extent of what Murasaki has done in this episode, but you shouldn’t keep a blind eye to this kind of social injustice either.
I’m still a coward, but hopefully one day when I do witness this kind of social injustice, I won’t be afraid to stand up for the sake of the victim. Similarly, if I do witness injustice in the workplace, I do hope I’ll be able to adhere to my principles and fight for them, despite the risk of losing my job or something. (Well of course it’s still better if you work in a company where such injustice is not present, like the company I’m currently working for ^^;;; )
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L-L-LONG POST! I admire people like you who are able to analyse so much about an anime or episode! *sob sob* I can never delve so deep.
And you are not a coward! You may be a Moe Baa-chan Coward usagijen though
But I also felt that after watching this episode, the justice side of me wants to speak up more but I don’t know what I’d do if someone was getting hurt like that. I’d be too scared aka coward, but who knows, this episode may have changed my life 0_0
And how’s that PETB thing going on? Any members besides Mellow_bunny?
I think this episode’s take on injustice was rather on the extreme side, since it’s always stressed to give up your seats for the elderly/disabled/pregnant/etc. If it was just a case of them young’uns not giving up a seat for the poor obaa-chan, Murasaki’s reaction would seem a little out of hand. But this was a case of them not only being rude to her, but chasing her off her seat! God, did that make my blood boil, but it boiled further when Shinkurou had to sink so low just to avoid making a fuss. Though the scene definitely illustrated your point about society’s hypocritical norms and such, I feel that in this case it’s definitely WRONG not to stand up for the woman – those B*stards all deserve B*tchslaps and sharp utensils poked up their – *stops rant b4 it gets out of hand*
Oh my. (at post length)
Well, I think it’s less societal values and more personal desire. We desire not to make a commotion and bring embarrassment to ourselves. Nobody likes to feel embarrassed in front of a bunch of strangers.
I do what you did around that RLS (Srsly? Restless Leg Syndrome?) guy a lot, keep quiet and silently curse the person for not realizing that they’re being overly obnoxious. I usually think, “Honestly, how rude! How could they POSSIBLY not know what a nuisance they’re being?” But thinking about it after the fact, there are a plethora of reasons why that could be so.
Well, I got carried away. As I said, I don’t really feel it’s merely *just* societal values. It’s our own fears as well.
@Blissmo: aww to each his own, it just so happens that I like complicating things and spending time exercising my brain muscles with all these mumble jumble lol. Result = tl;dr posts
I think witnessing these kind of scenes is life-changing, it’s one of those rare situations where you can show your principles and all that, not just be apathetic.
and for the PETB, I’m not even sure if mellow knows that our clan is being butchered by the likes of you!
@issa-sa: yeah, it’s a bit extreme, but the kind of situation that will really make you stop and think, and wonder what you will do if you were in the same situation.
and LOL @ rage
you go girl! These kind of guys really need bitchslapping, but if I were in that situation, I still wonder if I would’ve confronted them or just grimace out of fear. But bah, I have to stop being a chicken!
@Nagato: well the embarrassment issue is something I pointed out when I mentioned how we put importance to our reputation when in comes to these things, which ultimately is still socially-driven, since we’re taking into consideration what others will think about us, and such.
And perhaps I wasn’t clear with the points I raised here, but I mentioned that there’s a lot of factors that affect our actions (and the lack thereof). Fears, yes, aside from being self-conscious, lacking self-confidence, etc.
There is something else to keep in mind about Shinkurou’s behavior here. His job is to protect Murosaki. The only thing he would really accomplish by getting into a fight on the train would be to put his charge in danger. While he was dealing with the stupid kids he wouldn’t be able to watch out for people actually wanting to harm her and there is always the chance that one of them would attack her as being his weak point.
When your job is to guard someone there are a lot of things you can’t do regardless of your desire to do them. I don’t know that I believe Shinkurou would have acted any differently if Murosaki was not present, but her being there definitely restrained his range of options.
Much kudos to you in today’s post!
I have to say that assertiveness plays a big role when going though this type of situation. As for me, I would be the type of guy who would defend the old lady. I would think that people on the bus would agree with me to just leave her be. It usually takes one person before everyone else would voice their opinions too, but I guess there are other times where you are by yourself and that could cause trouble. In that case…you just got to suck it up. Kure-nai is a great anime though!
I hear fighting for the rights of others is a great way to start. I’ve got a bit of a yellow streak myself so the whole standing-up-to-someone is just as much a recurring issue on my side of the world. But when I do it for someone else, it surprises me how the courage suddenly balloons and fills me up — enough for me, the oppressed and then some.
Maybe when your justifying the goodness and wrongness of morally gray issues, it’s just easier when vis-a-vis someone else — moral standards seem so much more imposing when it’s about a third party you don’t really know that much about. In obaasan’s case: if it were me, I wouldn’t mind standing up; but if it were some else, I’d be yelling “Equal rights! Age deserves respect! In Soviet Russia…”
Anyways, rallying for the masses as Superman, Bonaparte or Mother Theresa have done, they might have been onto something all along.
@azathul: as much as Shinkurou’s actions were justifiable, I don’t really think he had to go to the length of bowing so much and apologizing in behalf of Murasaki, that really shows cowardice, more than anything =/
@Dando008: glad to know that you’re the assertive type. Honestly, I find it reallyyy difficult to have courage when I’m all by myself, but all these years has taught me to become stronger and actually defend myself as well as others, if need be.
@dean: I do hope we’ll have that courage to stand up for people, it’s a noble deed that’s really fulfilling, especially if the person you defended appreciates what you did ;__; But of course we shouldn’t do it for the sake of that ego-boosting purpose hehe
Here’s to more courage!
You’re right of course. But though the immediate benefits are small and tangibility nonexistent, there is a definite benefit to society in perhaps ensuring that the offender may think twice before repeating his crime, or encouraging others to follow your example in being a defender of justice.
The lack of a benefit for the immediate person though, is classically known as the free loader problem.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Free_rider_problem
But collective culture can be changed, it just needs positive examples. One Murasaki can remind hundreds of their collective responsibilities and the need to not be a bastard, as you said.
And with sufficient responsible people out there, bastards would have a hard time being one.
woah, how the heck did I miss this comment?! omg I am so sorry, I have no other excuse really T_T
I like how you emphasized the good things that one little deed (like what Murasaki shown in this ep) can bring about, especially that of CHANGE, great Change. Bastards need to know their place yeah!
There are several points that I agree and disagree with in this post.
“Everything was simple when we were kids.”
No. Almost everything, from using the toilet to multiplying numbers, is difficult for a kid. The reason why kids are so curious all the time is because their lives are so complicated all the time. It is only later when we forget that we think that everything was so much easier and simpler as a kid.
“It’s also not good if we become hypocrites and put on the pretense that we’re friends with a certain someone when in fact we are repulsive of him/her.”
Yes. We should avoid people we don’t like.
“There are no tangible benefits for the defender of justice.”
No. If you stand up to the guy, you feel better about yourself later. That is a tangible benefit. You are kicking yourself in the shin now because you didn’t do that then.
“Racism is never a good thing.”
For the members of the right race, racism is a good thing. The problem with racism is that it hurts and pisses off other races and it closes off communication and dialogue. In a democracy like America that is unacceptable.
“More often than not, society dictates us to become passive and apathetic, because that’s the way to survive in a cruel world, to get away from any mess as much as possible.”
No. We don’t live in a cruel world. We live in a 1st world country with good social support systems and the rule of law. Also, society does not teach us to be passive and apathetic. But it does force us to behave ourselves in public. Some take this lesson too far and retreat into a shell. That is bad for them.
“But if you feel that you have to do something, then nothing should stop you from doing so.”
Yes.
“Defending yourself in public when people disrespect you or treat you like shit can already be difficult, given the issues complicating adult minds like social norms and reasons stated above.”
Kids understand the concept of fairness better than adults. The trick is to think like a kid but to act like an adult.
“Why did I have such a hard time voicing out my complaints to the bastard beside me, when I know it should be the right thing to do?”
You didn’t know how to. No one taught you how to, and you never tried learning it on your own.
Thank you for taking the time to dissect my post, though… aren’t you nitpicking a little too much on this? Anyways, some point I’d agree/disagree with:
When we were kids, everything seemed so complicated, yes, but things were also simpler. We were pretty simple-minded then, and we tend to think of the world as ‘X = Y’, things happen in a simple cause-and-effect manner. Simple = the lack of ‘gray areas’, as I’ve already explained.
“No. If you stand up to the guy, you feel better about yourself later. That is a tangible benefit. You are kicking yourself in the shin now because you didn’t do that then.”
Take note that not all people were born with such confidence. Only those who have such confidence will actually go out of their way to do it in the first place. Only those who firmly believe that there’s a tangible benefit behind doing so will feel it afterwards, and only those who realize the said ‘tangible benefit’ will later on regret not having done it. Otherwise there’s the whole ’saving face’, ‘what will other people think of me by causing this commotion’ battle going on in our confused minds.
“No. We don’t live in a cruel world. We live in a 1st world country with good social support systems and the rule of law. Also, society does not teach us to be passive and apathetic. But it does force us to behave ourselves in public. Some take this lesson too far and retreat into a shell. That is bad for them.”
I’m thinking you live in a country far more liberal than I am? And sorry to say that my Chinese upbringing in a 3rd world country is that of passiveness and apathy, live for yourself, don’t care so much about the plight of other people, get away from trouble as much as possible, etc.
“Kids understand the concept of fairness better than adults. The trick is to think like a kid but to act like an adult. ”
Noted, and something I’m slowly but surely trying to work on as the days go by.
My initial response, which I deleted, might have been too brash. Being thoughtful of others is not easy and does not come naturally, at least certainly not to me. We live with ourselves all the time and so sometimes we forget that others exist too. At this point I should include a proper transition paragraph to my next idea but since my writing teachers never taught me how to write (unlike yours- they taught you English quite well- I’m impressed) I’ll add an ellipses and jump straight to my next point. I apologize for the directness.
…
1. How good are people’s memories of childhood? More specifically, how good are your memories? I personally can’t remember anything from my past except for selected bits and pieces in combination with a general dislike of school and the violin. And so I’m skeptical when others write about their childhood because I wonder, “how do they remember all that stuff?” If you claim you were like Murasaki when you were a kid then you should provide evidence that you behaved like Murasaki as a kid. You don’t have to provide it publicly, but you do have to provide it to yourself.
And so to answer your first point I don’t believe that memories of childhood are reliable. Were we simple-minded as kids? And more to the point: are we less simple-minded now? And I argue that we are not. We remain simple-minded. When we were kids we went to school and listened to our teachers. Now we go to work and listen to our boss. On holidays and weekends we try to go out with our friends to the playground. Now we go to karaoke bars and travel to foreign countries. Some of us tried to get perfect grades in school. Now these people are trying to get a favorable evaluations from their boss. When someone pushed us on the playground we were sad. Now when people snub us in public we are sad too.
In other words, nothing has changed. We were obedient buggers then and we remain obedient buggers now. “Murasaki” is a myth. Almost everything that we do as children and adults are controlled by the social expectations that surround us. Even in America this is true, and in Asian countries this is doubly true.
The only real difference between a kid and an adult is that older people have better memories. When we were kids we forget everything (lunchboxes, clothing, shoes, names of teachers, backpacks, report cards – cough cough-, tetanus shots, etc.). And so we might be sad one moment but two minutes later we’d forget about it and we’d happy again because for the most part we had happy childhoods. But now that we are older, we remember unhappy things better, which is why we get upset over little things more often.
2. “Take note that not all people were born with such confidence. Only those who have such confidence will actually go out of their way to do it in the first place. Only those who firmly believe that there’s a tangible benefit behind doing so will feel it afterwards, and only those who realize the said ‘tangible benefit’ will later on regret not having done it. Otherwise there’s the whole ’saving face’, ‘what will other people think of me by causing this commotion’ battle going on in our confused minds.”
Oh, yes, Japanese culture, which in a nutshell BOILSdown to this: “Thou shalt always behave thyself in public and smile at other people, even if you don’t want to…”
“AAAAARRRRRGGGHHHH!!!!!”
This attitude has many advantages (especially for business) but it also has its disadvantages. And in your subway example you listed one of them. When someone is behaving badly in public they don’t know what to do. Which is the reason why most people do nothing. If you want to be smarter than them, you’d find a way to get him to put on headphones WITHOUT causing a commotion. If you can’t, then that’s ok. You’ll have MANY more chances like that in the future.
3. If you’re Chinese, and if you live in Manila or Singapore [same difference... :-] then that means you are a minority in a country that probably is jealous of your presence. The Chinese are very good at making money, and the Chinese community is probably the richest in your area. Is that right?
Well, if my guess is correct, then that means your community is probably very tight-knit. The Chinese are naturally clannish, but when they’re surrounded by potentially hostile outsiders, people who are envious of their wealth, they become even more clannish. Am I right? That means the Chinese community and your family would stick closely to itself. Am I right?
And since you’ve traveled a lot, that makes you relatively cosmopolitan. You’ve visited other countries and you’ve enjoyed your visits there. You’re also younger. That makes you more comfortable with outsiders (non-Chinese people) than your parents. Therefore, from your perspective your parents sometimes act like racists. But from their perspective they’re just trying to protect their clan. Is that right? How close am I in my guesses?
Anyways, you don’t have to answer any of these questions. I’m merely playing a mental game, using the information you’ve provided, to figure out a puzzle. Like everything else, people are gray areas, with black and white, and the trick is to separate out the two.
Wow, and here I thought my writing sucks
Anyways, longgg reply:
1. I’m not exactly sure how strong my childhood memories are, though I could indeed recall specific “moments” in my life, or other bits drawn from what other people remember me for, moments with people which allow me to recall how I was back then too. Oh and there are pictures which serve as those reminders too.
As for being simple-minded, I actually said that in the context of us being much more knowledgeable now than we were before (or that we didn’t know so much before), with the assumption that the more you know, the more things get ‘complicated’.
Back then most of what complicated our minds was that we don’t understand how and why things happen the way they do. We grow up, gain knowledge and experience, we figure out what we used to not understand, and the world becomes vast and filled with much more possibilities.
But having your doors opened to these possibilities comes at a price, now that there are things you know (or you’re expected to know as an adult), now that you’ve been given the privilege to do things you weren’t able to do back then, things also get more ‘complicated’ — there are more things expected of you now than before, you have to be mindful of your conduct, you have to be a ‘responsible adult’, you can’t simply act the way you did as a kid.
Not to mention with great possibilities comes the chance to either do the right thing and be proud, or screw up, depending on one’s POV.
tl;dr. guess it boils down to “you knew less as a kid, and there were less things expected of you, hence it was ’simple’ — or it seems simple from our adult POV”. ‘Proportional complicated-ness’ or whatnot, in the same way problems arise from our lifestyle — poor people have different problems than rich ones. Problems of the poor are but ’simple’ compared to the problems of the rich, i.e. how to get enough money to be able to live through each day (work/find work, beg for money, etc) vs. how to keep your money from diminishing (a whole new economic/political/whatever world~)
2. Oh yes, next time I’ll certainly think of a smart move >:]
3. Well generally speaking, they don’t trust non-Chinese people. period. lol. It’s got something to do with their prejudices, but yeah, it all boils down to ‘wanting to protect me’ — generally stupid paranoia, but understandable.
There’s also the ‘Thou shalt not be friendly with non-Chinese people (of the opposite sex)’ decree, due to the fear of seeing you romantically involved with someone from a different race and get scorned by society. Again, stupid paranoia, but understandable, especially within the context of a society that is still not open to inter-racial relationships.
Chinese people (especially close-minded traditional ones) tend to think of reputation and ‘what society will think of me’ a little too much, so yeah =/