Comments on: A Shoujo Protagonist Moment of Epiphany

By: usagijen

usagijen — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 14:25:41 +0000

comments like that is enough to make my day, so thank you as well! ^-^

By: Shiro, Long Tail's

Shiro, Long Tail's — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 03:52:21 +0000

I never would have expected I’d get the most insightful commentary on entering into romantic relationships from an anime blog. I’d like to add something constructive; but, alas I’m at a loss for words and the midnight oil is running low. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

By: Marigold Ran

Marigold Ran — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 02:36:27 +0000

1. NEVER EVER DATE YOUR SUPERVISOR. It causes problems. Look at what happened to that dude’s sister in Macross Frontier. She dated her boss. Her boss framed her after they broke up. Then she died. Serves her right. And I am not speaking from personal experience. BUT DATING YOUR BOSS IS A BAD IDEA.

2. Crusader is wrong. Sometimes shit doesn’t happen. The reason is constipation. It could happen to your love life too. Not everyone gets to reproduce their genes. Will you be one of them?

3. Emotions are powerful, but they do not last long. Thoughts last longer, but initially they’re not as powerful. Marriage requires the same sort of dedication and thought as work. Nothing can last long if it’s just emotion.

By: usagijen

usagijen — Sat, 01 Aug 2009 14:01:40 +0000

Oh I do agree with the notion that humans are forever evolving, and that we should continue to grow and learn each day, stagnancy is futile, etc. And what I really meant by ‘complete’ here is the situation where we can look at the mirror and be able to see ourselves, know who we are, be proud of who we are… not exactly “complete” in the “I am perfect” sense, but that we think of ourselves as “whole” while not disregarding the fact that we’re forever evolving. Being happy with who we are, I guess, knowing well that peace is found within, no other person will give that to you
What you said about the ‘trial and error’ process in finding ‘love’ reminded me of a similar thing my friend told me, that we shouldn’t hold ourselves back, take a risk, be confident… like trying on a pair of shoes and seeing if it works (and of course, making it work too). All in all, thank you for the thoughtful response, it has undoubtedly allowed me to learn so much more about this.

By: khronus

khronus — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 17:01:49 +0000

As topics go you really picked a tricky one this time. It’s hard to know where to start and where to end on this one though a few details stand out.

1. No one is ever ‘complete’ before they enter a relationship. It is the nature of life that every hour, every day, every month, and every year exposes us to new experiences and more information. And further that as that information accumulates our thoughts, viewpoints, and personal truths constantly evolve.

2. Relationships don’t ‘complete’ anyone. They provide so many things, but the word ‘complete’ should never be used. It implies some sense of finish as if efforts are no longer required and that’s false. Relationships require constant effort. You have to think about how you are feeling, how your partner is feeling, how to communicate what you are feeling, how to understand what your partner is trying to communicate to you about what they are feeling, and that’s just the start.

3. Relationships never ’stay the same’. Since you are growing and your partner is growing the bond between you is always changing. If you make an honest effort to nurture it (like growing a plant) it changes in positive ways. If you neglect it, it changes in negative ways.

As far as finding ‘love’ goes there is no shame in holding out until you find the right person. There is also no shame in the process of trial and error that it takes to find the person in question. Reality doesn’t come with cheat guides, saves, backups, or anything close to an easy way to get all the answers to make perfect decisions. It’s all a part of the ride.

Oh, yeah. While it is important to think a bit about how you are presenting yourself to your audience and what you’re communicating to them. It is equally important for your audience to work to put what you are saying into the context of your nature in figuring out your message. Good friends and good lovers will understand this on some level. So don’t sweat it quite so much.

By: usagijen

usagijen — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 15:51:47 +0000

“Awwww my usagijen is all grown up and ready to look for a partner to share her life with and create a rabbit sized brood with” –> roflwhat. no, just… no.

and that definition of love, dear sir, is one of the most unromantic ones I’ve ever seen

All the best in your job search!

By: Crusader

Crusader — Sun, 26 Jul 2009 05:18:20 +0000

Awwww my usagijen is all grown up and ready to look for a partner to share her life with and create a rabbit sized brood with… hehe

Well aren’t we most fortunate dear madame, at least you have the time and resources to look for love. Poor bastards like me are looking for something else entirely…they call it a job. I needs one.

Love is like shit, it just happens.

By: usagijen

usagijen — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 03:51:36 +0000

well there’s a difference between wanting to be friends _only_, and seeing the guy both as a friend and someone you can also share the rest of your life with. Who ever said you can’t date and treat each other as friends as well (even if you know it’s something more)?

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 20:14:39 +0000

Bullshit. The only time girls want to be friends is when they don’t want to date a guy.

By: usagijen

usagijen — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 15:58:10 +0000

@issa-sa: off tangents like that are most welcome! “knowing what’s wrong doesn�t mean you know what’s right” — well said. To make it even more apt, I’d say “…doesn’t mean you already know how to do what’s right”, because at times, we might know what’s right, but it doesn’t follow we’ll really act the right way when we’re already in the situation.

People who assume they will do the ‘right thing’ just by knowing what’s right and what’s wrong tend to have this self-righteous act that will bring them down sooner or later. Pride comes before the fall

@moritheil: sound advice you’ve got there (quite a slippery slope too, if I might add, in a good way XD), made me realize that not knowing who I really am and what I want were the major factors that led to this.

@NewGeekPhilosopher: but why go out of your way to search for love (before you even search for yourself, what you want, or what you deem to be the purpose of it all)? You have a disability yes, and while the majority of society “dictates” or makes you feel that you are “incomplete”, you will only feel that way if you allow yourself to. There will come a point in your life when women would be mature enough to deal with you, yes, but keep in mind that you have to do your share of growing up and maturing yourself. Expand your horizons, explore the world, live your life to the fullest! Don’t make “ending up with someone” your goal in life (or live your dreams with that secondary goal), I beg you.

I’m not gonna go preachy here and tell you that God will fill that void in your heart (even if I really want to), you’d best know how to search for that certain ‘missing void’ in your heart, and I don’t believe you’d find that in romantic love. Make friends, more than anything else, and keep things real.

@kitsune: thank you for the thoughtful response, for adding up your own insights on this too!

I do agree that we grow in wisdom as we grow in age and experience, just so happens that I lacked it (or lacked friends whom I could learn about these kinds of things by example XD). It’s great to see when people affirm what was mentioned here to be true, especially by people who are much wiser than I am!