But the future is coming and there is nothing I can do about it. I have to accept it, even though it frightens me so. Thanks Jen, for this post.

@liz: amen to that hehe. there’s always much to learn by humbling ourselves. Confident, but able to accept that mistakes are but part of life, and won’t do anything else but make you better in the process!

@Martin: no, thank you for reading! Extreme extroverts are the ones who stick out like a sore thumb wherever you go, so I can just imagine how they can easily rub you the wrong way. I might be even more judgmental in that I think those on either of the extremes (introvert/extrovert) have their own social complexes (as bluemist puts it). Too much of anything isn’t healthy, and balance is always good~

@schneider: I think the other commenters have already said what I wanted to say in reply to that. In the end, it’s all about finding the ‘right balance’ that’d work for us. The question to ask is, will you be willing to get to know people even though you’re not familiar with them or that they have almost nothing in common with you? If so, then what would you do?

Glad to see the Magister-route didn’t end up in bitterness, albeit bittersweet!

@lelangir: My friend was actually the one who told me of that insight, albeit in a different context, but I thought it applied here and to just about anything! Glad you found that insightful, I’m hoping it’ll be really part of my system from now on

@Shiro, Long Tail’s: You’re right on that one. Nothing good will ever come out of suspecting people, being contented with rumors and hearsay or your own suspicions of the person. No other way to really get to know the person but to personally talk to him/her.

@maAkusutipen: Being optimistic, while acknowledging/despite the possibility of failure, can be tricky, but highly possible. It took me quite some ups and downs (from being overconfident to FAIL/super inferior) to get to the balance that I have now, and it still is a work in progress. I’d like to think I’m preparing and studying for JLPT1 with this in mind hehe

@bluemist: And that is the path that you have chose! Happy to see that you’ve come out of your shell and found your naritai jibun, or still finding it, but certainly getting there

I can add absolutely nothing to the conversation except that life goes on. My version of my quest for the naritai jibun would be me opening up more of my otaku self than usual. I learned that I’m not exactly prejudged by whatever interests I have. Some even accept and understand that I’m the quiet one in the group. I guess it’s because it works both ways. People, meaning everyone, has their own social complexes as well, regardless of being introverts or extroverts.

a combination of humility and courageousness is really needed for things to happen. But to strike a balance for that is rather hard for me.

I think you pretty much hit the nail on the head here. I’m an introvert myself when it comes to strange new places and people and I agree that we spend a lot of time observing people and interactions which can unfortunately lead to being judgmental.

However, whenever I lapse into such a train of thought I always try to remind myself that you shouldn’t take a persons interaction with their environment as a replacement for their inner disposition. There are many reasons why they may do what they do and say what they say and once I try to look at things from their point of view I feel a little less cynical and a lot more empathic. Or maybe I’m just naïve and people that live in the world of the great burning ball in the sky are actually perpetual jerks. I guess we won’t know if we never ask them?

“I should never ever let fear be the basis of any of my decisions”

I thought that was a very insightful quote!

My father is the exact opposite–once he approached a group of Indians (who were complete strangers) and struck up a perfectly friendly conversation with them. It was awe-inspiring and depressing for me at the same time.

I had a friend who acted so much like Magister that I became Kurosawa for her, along with the falling-out (not due to jizzing though) and subsequent reconciliation. We’re still good friends!

The introvert/extrovert thing is interesting: personally I find the more extreme extroverts to be hard work and exhausting to be around. I admit I’m judgemental in that sense too – I wonder why these people crave attention from others; it looks like they have some sort of dependency on large amounts of social contact or something. Unfair I know, but I guess my current surroundings are gettin to me – I’ve been in need of a change of scene for a while now, and trains of thought like this are reminders to me of why I ought to address it really.

The thing is, there’s a huge divide between introverted and extroverted people – I’d like to be proved wrong about this, but I think it’s very difficult for people in the two groups to really understand the other’s way of thinking. I’m more comfortable in small groups of familiar people, but I’ve never wanted to be a ‘people magnet’ and settled on the idea that being the life and soul of the party is an ability that comes naturally to some people but not others.

It is possible to learn how to be more outgoing up to a point, but the most important thing I think is to find a level that you’re comfortable with. I expected to be able to do that by now but it looks like you never stop learning…

I’m out ^_^