Anime
NO YOU, Miracle Train
So I watched Miracle Train and something about it has been bugging me ever since.
The whole premise (or the lack thereof) of this show basically revolves around these train station bishies whose motto in life is: Bring back one lost girl into the light each day (or week, from our POV), so quick to assume that just because a girl is down and depressed, she NEEDS help. And not just any normal help, but that from a harem of bishies to aide her in her helpless state, like some stupid damsel in distress. FYI, I don’t need your help, inasmuch as I don’t need your protection.
FEAR MY ROD
And let’s get real here, if I were a girl who suddenly comes across this Legendary Miracle Train, on board are no one else but 5 guys who claim to be train stations (oh brother *facepalm*), one mysterious masked man and a loli, only two thoughts that can come to mind: (1) Holy Shi– Am I gonna get RAEPED (not to mention there are no security people around, or any other people outside this ‘mob’ who can help me!)?! or (2) They’re kind souls who were sent by the heavens to help a poor girl like me, my prayers have been answered! — more likely the first one.
While yes, statistics shows that acquaintance raep is more likely than stranger raep, this is a freaking special train we’re talking about, a train that could lead you just about anywhere, nowhere. And worse, there can be no way out of this train!
Yes, I know.
Remember kids, just because a guy is bishielicious and/or smexy and “kind” to you doesn’t mean he really is a kind soul. You’ll never know what runs in his mind. Be very cautious.
But hey, this is some crazy anime we’re talking about, which requires us to strap our Suspension of Disbelief gear in full throttle, so for the sake of “fun” and all that jazz, let’s just accept the fact that these bishies were sent by the heavens for ye poor weak girls.
Feel free to use me, but don’t fall ever in love with me.
Here comes another issue, though. After the problem’s solved, you’d think the guys (ok train stations, I stand corrected) will empower the girls such that they’d be able to solve their future problems by themselves and not depend on them, right? Like teaching a man how to fish for himself instead of just feeding him. Well, think again. Once they’ve solved the problem [of the week], they “bid goodbye” to the troubled lady with a “Come back if you’re feeling down *smile*”, as though they want these girls to forever use them as a crotch– I mean crutch. Shouldn’t they be saying, “We hope we won’t see you again here, woman!!1!!”?!
Shinjuku: Oi, stop blushing Shotadome, our cover will be blown!
So yeah, WTF, NO YOU, Miracle Train. Thank you for making me feel just how weak I am because I’m a girl. See, this is exactly why only girls are accepted in the Miracle Train, not because they’re special, but because they’re weak. Ugh. Or probably to cover up the real identity of these train station guys as homotrainsexuals *gasp* The troubled lady of the week is nothing else but a mere BL cover-up?! Or wait, is any cover up even necessary for that? Anyways. Damn series is getting into my feminist nerves.
P.S. Shinjuku and Roppongo are hawt. KYAA~ Even Shinn thinks so. From what I’ve heard, looks like Hinano and Aroduc’s got the hots for Shinjuku too, eh? zOMG we’ve got competition!
P.P.S. Looking forward to the day Kamen Conductor finally gets unmasked lol.
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18 comments for “NO YOU, Miracle Train”
Trackbacks
- Miracle Train 01 | Yukifuri Dawn
- [Miracle Train] Where is the man train? – I Don't Remember Anything
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I don’t know how any human being could ever possibly like this show. Even if I was a girl, I think I’d throw myself off a bridge before I watch a full episode of this, which is the stupidest plot in the world, and has less plot substance than Queen’s Blade, which is awesome only because it’s so bad and ridiculous that it’s good.
strike.Sorry, I just wanted to do that. No real reason.
AHAHAH yeah seriously that’s how I felt about it. If I was that girl I wouldn’t have been thinking “OMG ARE THEY GOING TO HELP ME, THEY’RE SO HOT. NEVERMIND THE FACT THAT THERE’S A CREEPY MASKED MAN AND NO NORMAL PERSON TO SAVE ME.”
I dropped it after I saw the first one xD;; or barely got through the first episode.
Well, I heard that in episode 3, there was a girl with a normal reaction…? :’D
It’s so bad, I have to watch it to make fun of it.
And while stranger rape is less common than acquaintance rape, the other creepy thing with this show is that it’s really hard to forget about the epidemic of train molestation in Japan when watching this show!
Hell, you want another look at the whole “helplessness” aspect of the show, look no further than the fact that in the first episode, a woman’s dog runs onto an EMPTY train car, yet she can’t find him without the help of the man trains.
Episode 2: woman gets dumped by her boyfriend because of her job
Episode 3: teenage girl wants nothing more in life than to get married while still in middle school, so she goes to the konkatsu meat market in hopes a man will select her, with all of the being-completely-dependent-on-the-man-financially subtext that that entails. Hell, even moreso because she’s freaking FOURTEEN so she doesn’t even have a MIDDLE SCHOOL diploma!
Shinjuku’s got 4 bro’s, there’s enough of him to go around
Yeah, the masked guy is a bit of a stretch. Then again, do trains even HAVE sexual drives? (train, drive, got it? hur hur) They seem to me like a totally emotionless creatures – “we shall help you because that’s what we’re for we don’t really care about you anyway since we don’t know you smile smile” that’s not my idea of dream men. Sex toy, yes, but not, you know, actual I-want-to-be-with-you-forever material.
Also, I said it once and I shall say it again: they’re not THAT bishie. Even freaking Code Geass had more bishies then this show (also Ookiku Furikabutte/Big Windup. Hurray for shameless yaoi paddling. I’m surprised the DVD doesn’t come with a complimentary dildo. It’s so obvious the mangaka is a women, isn’t it?)
Normally I’d say thank god that everyone’s fighting over Roppongi/Shinjuku cos they’re the typical popular bishie-types you can find in almost any show that has a smidge of a female target audience and they’re SO NOT MY TYPE
Unfortunately the remaining cast has nothing to offer me (shouta, period drama freak, monja freak, urghh), so lacking ANYONE to fangirl over, all I have on my hands is a piece of crap so flawed that the only ‘miracle’ here is that I’m still watching it -_-” TsK, if they’re going to make a show this insulting to their target audience, they should’ve at least covered all their type bases
P.S. the best character on the damned train is the dog, but again, I’m not into that ;P
Finally someone else brought it up~
@Glo: girls can enjoy it on a ‘brainless eye-candy level’, the moment they start using their brains while watching this, uhh yeah. So bad it’s sooo good desu~ Let’s see if I can live through 12 episodes of this stupid ‘trainwreck’ lol
@Keo: hahaha, understandable. The bishies doesn’t really have much going for them, so if you’re gonna watch it, it’s all for the lulz
@Kiseki: ohh, I heard issa-sa and Hinano mention about that. But yeah, watching this and mocking the characters makes me feel good about myself, kinda like White Album, though this one’s a lot more fun
@jp: funny how the creators conceptualized this lulzy series without having thought of the said scary implications! It’s no wonder they can make those sh*tty otome eroges too. LOL JAPAN *facepalm*
@Hinano: I think I’ve seen those brothers in the webcomic (I still haven’t watched ep3 darnit!) But aren’t they too shota? lol
@micchan: hahaha, well said, which is also why I mentioned in one image caption “don’t ever fall in love with me”, because it’s gonna suck if you fall for any of these train stations who were simply hardwired to help you and please you like a sex toy and nothing else!
@issa-sa: I initially thought Ryougoku will be like Hihara-sempai, voice-wise and otherwise, but no… drama freak gahh. Bishie points minus minus.
“if they’re going to make a show this insulting to their target audience, they should’ve at least covered all their type bases
”
RAWRRR.
@warriorhope: makes me wonder if I should continue doing this kind of post just for people to see the scary implications of this show lol
Oh god, train stations *holds back laughter*
You see, now I HAVE to watch this. So I can make fun of it.
Lol, I agree. I would’ve freaked out too if I suddenly found myself inside a train with only me and a bunch of bishies surrounding me.
I shall watch it now and then for the lulz (and so I can make fun of it. Muahaha) and for eyecandy purposes. I’m also a tad bit curious about Conductor-san (who I found kinda hawt… darn you Tuxedo Mask!) and why he has a mask… Insecure much from all the bishies around?
Agreed on your point. This show is just a bit too unbelievable and a bit sexist. That guy in the mask is especially creepy.
Is it that bad? Sometimes I just want relinquish myself of all responsibilities and have a bunch of pretty boys pamper me~
@Misu: loool, have fun!
@hazy: insecure? nah I don’t think so. More like, he’s got this godly beauty that needs to be concealed with a mask! *gasp*
@Yi: but despite all that, it actually is an enjoyable brainless show
@Shin: hahahaha, why of course we have those times~ ufufu~ :3
Hmm, I was hoping to wring some good comedy out of this one. On balance, the commentary suggests that I should look elsewhere.
When old, homely Inarichō Station (my favourite in Tokyo, for personal reasons) gets a job on the Miracle Train, then I’ll take a look. For now I’ll settle for an overpriced cab ride.
Was actually laughing through episodes, I honestly kept thinking ‘LOL WHUT’S GOING ON- SHE’S GONNA BE KIDNAPPED BY SIX ((admittedly)) HOT BISHIES ((PIMPS))??!!11oneone’
Then I realised that they’re there to solve them problems, and
I was wondering why the hell do women have the problems..? Ahah, maybe they’ll reverse it and make some cool girls as train stations.
Speaking of that, I don’t understand how they can feel compassion even though they claim they are ‘train stations’ and cannot feel.
Not that I haven’t
fallen in loveliked them.Ha, I’m writing up my version of this on quizilla.