Editorial
Beyond the Blogging Crossroad II: The Woman on the Mirror
I wasn’t supposed to write/publish this post until after a month because that’s the time when I’d really grow older, but what do you know, people change. So without further ado, let’s get ready to rambleeeee!
(My Garden by ぱ)
Bloggers have been accused of loving their blogs more than they love anime. I plead guilty. For the past few years, whether I like it or not, blogging has changed (revolutionized?) the way I consume animes. Life-changing as it may be, it turned out to be a double-edged sword. Gone were the days when I could simply sit down and relax, watch an episode or two, marvel at it for whatever reason and go on with LifeTM. I’m sure you’ve heard that elsewhere, right? Blogging has made be an active consumer, and that’s good, but somewhere along the way, it also alienated me from what I’ve been doing.
Lately I find myself thinking, did I really like [insert name of series I blogged in the past], from the bottom of my heart? So much for spending more time blogging or thinking about blogging the said series instead of just basking in it and loving every moment of it, to the point of wondering why I even blogged it in the first place. From enlightenment, here goes another blogging blues relapse. Oh boy. Seems like I’ve become even more confused now that blogging has not only taken my time, but has also tainted the lens through which I view my animes. I guess it all boils down to “I don’t know myself enough just yet”, and more importantly, because blogging is not the cure to this identity crisis. That I should’ve known since a year ago, since that blogging crossroad.
This blog is an extension of my soul, and that’s that, just an extension. If I’m confused IRL, then I’ll be even more confused when I blog. In the same way as you don’t get into a relationship to fill whatever void in your heart, you can’t just blog to complete your anime and manga fanaticism, or to make up for your incompetence. It’s there to complement the animanga-loving fan that you are, and you shower it with your love overflow, the kind of love that oozes from you when you’re an enthusiastic fan. More importantly, you should have a firm grip on yourself, what you want and why you want it, so as to not get drowned into the Blogging Waves and lose yourself in the process. Somewhere, somehow, I lost my Hontou no Jibun and now I’m struggling to get it back. And again, I have to tell myself, I can’t find that True Self of mine by blogging and blogging alone.
You get better at writing by writing MOAR, but if you’re confused about what you want to write about, uncertain of your feelings even, you don’t exactly write about not being able to think of what to write. Instead, you step out and explore the world, head out for an adventure, discover its beauty, get to know yourself in the process, and grow holistically. For the aniblogger, this entails more than just discovering the ’sphere, but filling your very own love tank with true animango love. How? By blogging less and watching/reading MOAR, immersing yourself in what you watch and read, even without the premise of blogging.
(by 幼夢堂)
I don’t know what came into me, but suddenly I feel so confused. For the past two and a half years, who exactly was the usagijen blogging here? Was it really me, or a mere persona (or ‘nexistence’ in the words of lelangir) I created, a whole new beast and not really myself? But if so, then that means everything I’ve been doing here is a lie, which isn’t exactly the case. Admittedly, some of my posts are pretentious, but not exactly a lie. Sigh. I hate hate hate being confused, but here I am. Again.
After much enlightenment, I remain a Takemoto who headed out for a bike adventure without realizing why he even did it in the first place. What was I trying to achieve? Was I even trying to achieve something in the first place? I want to remember love, like ghostlightning, but how the heck will I remember love when I’m not even sure if there was indeed love in the first place? My love tank is running low on fuel, and I have to fill it up, quick. More importantly, I have to make sure that my feelings are genuine and real. Man, if only I was simple-minded, I wouldn’t have any of these problems.
I mentioned before that blogging has made me an active consumer. Sounds good, but not until you realize its negative implication: I’m pushing (forcing?) myself to be attentive because I’m thinking of blogging it. Ergo, I’m watching and enjoying what I watch for the sake of blogging and not exactly for pure & genuine enjoyment reasons. “But isn’t the desire to blog something an accurate indicator that you really love something?”, you ask, to which I return another question: How can you be so sure that you really love it if you can’t leave blogging out of the picture?
Actually, the thing about me being an apathetic viewer (which I talked about here) in the past isn’t exactly true, because I already was active before blogging, in my own little way. How else could I have remembered much of Daa! Daa! Daa!, Aka-chan to Boku, Ranma 1/2, Magic Knight Rayearth and KimiNozo (the CDs of which I dumped into the garbage bin out of RAEGG, and I got depressed for days even when I don’t have the slighest reason to be!)? Or even with other series which I can’t remember as vividly but lingered in my mind (Mermaid’s Forest, Honey and Clover, Ouran High School Club and Nishi no Youki Majo). Not once did it cross my mind that time that I was going to blog them, and yet, I remember them.
otou-san once talked about how our experiences at the time we watch an anime affects the way we perceive it, “the circumstances at that very moment are important”, he said. ghostlightning also said that “We will not like some anime because we are not ready for it”. But how exactly will we be able to know if we’re ready? The voice inside me says, “you’ll _feel_ it, my child, you certainly will”. Time and again, I really will have this Eureka Moment, and I can wholeheartedly say I LOVED THIS, FEELS SO GOOD. But at times–many times–I end up cheating my way through this because of blogging, and I end up trying to convince myself that I am ready to enjoy a certain anime, when in fact, I’m still not. I end up skipping through the “watching and enjoying animes without exactly understanding why” immersion stage.
Or let me put it this way: At times, I’d be blogging about how “This series is sooo awesome and I LOVE it” even before reaching that actual “OMG I’m sooo enjoying and loving this, and know & feel that this is real and know exactly why I’m loving it” state. And when that happens, I’d look back at what I wrote a few months and end up wondering whose reflection it is I see in this blogging mirror. Or perhaps I’m just being too hard on myself, perhaps it’s just recency bias coming into play here. But something else is complicating all this for me.
There are people in the ’sphere who influenced me (and continues to influence me) in blogging — the Kaminas I look up to, my source of spiral energy yo. They inspire me, they humble me a whole lot. But the downside of it all is being haunted by the feeling that I need validation from these people, that I need their acknowledgment and recognition before I can recognize my worth as a blogger. I’m still not secure with myself, and I hate hate hate feeling this way. I hate my post-blogging blues where, after writing a post and it doesn’t exactly connect with readers the way I wanted it to, I end up moping and questioning what I did wrong. Did people read my post? Did they like it? Did they even care? And worst of all, is realizing on hindsight how disconnected I was from what I wrote; it wasn’t heartfelt enough and didn’t have my True Soul. Perhaps that’s why I keep on looking for external rewards in all this, to fill that emptiness, to cover up my incompetence. I was supposed to be over this, but here it comes again.
Blogging for 2DT is a cure for loneliness. I guess it is, for me too, though at times it becomes my source of loneliness.
For digitalboy, it’s a (questionably) legal drug. With the highs and lows I get from blogging, the alienation I feel at times, I’d say it’s like a drug for me too, with both beneficial and harmful side-effects. But I don’t want blogging to be just a drug I use for escapism purposes; I want it to be a reflection of who I am, something I pour my love and devotion to not simply for the external rewards I will gain after, but because of the internal rewards I will reap just by being able to write and express my thoughts and feelings, by sharing all this to an audience (imaginary or not). So that each and every step of the way I’ll be able to sing:
This is real, this is me
I’m exactly where I’m supposed be now
Gonna let the light shine on me
Now I’ve found who I am, there’s no way to hold it in
No more hiding who I wanna be, this is me ♫
This is the time of the year when I (once again) realize that I’m still stuck in the lower end of the Moral Development Stage, and I have to find a way to reach the post-conventional level. Blog not just for the sake of it, not for the sake of other people either, but because I love what I’m doing and know exactly what I’m doing. And hopefully, be able to realize the Higher Purpose of why I’m doing this in the first place.
Perhaps blogging pushed me to be an active watcher, and there’s nothing wrong with having that little push to motivate me to do something. That’s even the key to people’s success at times. But one way or another, I have to step out of being pushed and be moved to act by a force within, something that’s got nothing to do with external validation rewards, something that’s not dependent on the ‘whims of other people or social groups’ either. If I’m going to ponder upon what I watch, it’ll be for the sole reason that I delight myself in it, not for whatsoever pandering purposes. As this one motto goes, “Until you are happy with who you are, you will never be happy with what you have” If what I write is not good enough for me, it will never be good enough.
In the meantime, while I’m still struggling to find that Higher Purpose, the least I can do is to be true to myself. I’m a little slow compared to most people. I’m not spontaneous, and I can’t outright say my thoughts on what I watch until after a bit of pondering. Unless we’re talking about shows I can quickly fangirl and KYAA over. This is who I am, and I should delight myself in it. And as of the moment, I prefer immersing and delighting myself in what I watch and read without the premise of blogging; Allow the episodes I watch to linger in my mind first (in the words of Michael Jackson, “You gotta let it simmer”), and finally, when the Right Time comes and I’m ready to pen down my thoughts into one coherent post (and even not-so-coherent ones), then I will. I won’t have to force myself to think of what to write because it will just come out naturally. The words will just… flow~ And I’ll be doing it in the spirit of good fun. As Hige said, “Blog in a manner that suits you, that makes you happy. Fuck the rest.”
I may still not see the 2D world from the eyes of them Great Bloggers, but there’s no need to rush. In my own time, I will grow; My perspective will change, be enriched… No need to rush. Be still my soul, fly free and soar above the clouds, but be grounded in reality and never lose sight of who you are, and why you’re doing this in the first place. I should tell myself that All The Time. Blogging shackles, begone!
Never have I felt more free and enlightened. Sorry dear readers, for I have been a pretentious wank. If you’ve read my past posts on this very same topic, I won’t be surprised if you’re now going “NOTTO DISU SHIT AGAIN?!”
And once again, I summon Rilke’s spirit and let his voice move me:
“You ask whether your verses are any good. You ask me. You have asked others before this. You send them to magazines. You compare them with other poems, and you are upset when certain editors reject your work. Now (since you have said you want my advice) I beg you to stop doing that sort of thing. You are looking outside, and that is what you should most avoid right now. No one can advise or help you – no one. There is only one thing you should do. Go into yourself. Find out the reason that commands you to write; see whether it has spread its roots into the very depths of your heart; confess to yourself whether you would have to die if you were forbidden to write. This most of all: ask yourself in the most silent hour of your night: must I write? Dig into yourself for a deep answer. And if this answer rings out in assent, if you meet this solemn question with a strong, simple “I must,” then build your life in accordance with this necessity;
And if out of this turning-within, out of this immersion in your own world, poems come, then you will not think of asking anyone whether they are good or not. Nor will you try to interest magazines in these works: for you will see them as your dear natural possession, a piece of your life, a voice from it.”
I’d also like to dedicate Miley Cyrus’ The Climb to myself, just because I can:
Every step I’m taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking
But I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high
There’s always gonna be another mountain
I’m always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I’m gonna have to lose
Ain’t about how fast I get there
Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side
It’s the climb
The struggles I’m facing
The chances I’m taking
Sometimes might knock me down
But no, I’m not breaking
I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I’m gonna remember most, yeah
Just gotta keep going
And I, I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on
You say my post is long-winding? So what? These are my thoughts, confusing and jumbled up, right there as you see it. My writing will get better in time, I’m sure. But more than anything else I need to find out what the heck I really want to do, and do it. There’s no need to rush~
Comrade schneider already beat me to this “You don’t have to rush it” talk, darn! hehe 
But yeah, I do want to have the same mindset from here onwards — take things easy not just because I’m growing old. I had my chance to be on the spotlight; I experienced how it was like to ride the waves of hype, be the hype machine myself, and also how it was like to get caught up in the hype and end up losing myself. It was EPIC and fun, but now I realize that’s not exactly where I want to be. That’s not what would keep me going in the long run, because in the end, what matters most is what’s left after the hype is gone, after the in-love state has run its course. Whatever lies beyond this path, I would have to see and experience it for myself.
This blogging adventure is just beginning~
EDIT: Ryan’s comment reminded me of one more song I’ve been wanting to dedicate to myself for the longest time now, Lenka’s The Show:
I am just a little girl
lost in the moment
I’m so scared
but don’t show it
I can’t figure it out
it’s bringing me down
I know
I’ve got to let it go
and just enjoy the show
Dum Di Dum, Da-dum di dum~ Just enjoy the show~ ^_^
Further Reading
My introspections, which a lot of people are probably sick of reading by now (not that I really care or anything ):
Confessions and Epiphanies of an Incompetent Blogger
Micro-blogging is Confusing the Heck Out of Me Now, But I Has Gained Englightenment! (this one’s pretty stupid now that I’ve read it again, in a lolz way, but at least I was being honest?)
Beyond the Blogging Crossroad Part 1: A So-called “Love Affair” with Animes
Beyond the Blogging Crossroad Part 2: Why I Blog
Enough about me, and go read these posts by other bloggers which are far worth your time instead:
2DT on Anime Blogging as the Cure for Loneliness
digitalboy on Anime Blogging as his (Questionably) Legal Drug
Hige’s Editorial #12 – Convention Can Suck My Left One
ghostlightning on Recency Bias and How it Affects Anime Appreciation
what color are your glasses now? asks otou-san
schneider’s Continuing World turns one year old, and in this first anniversary post he talks about his humble beginnings, and keeping it cool yo~
- an independently produced short film/anime TV ad(?) supposedly uploaded here in niconico, now deleted before I even had a chance to see it. [↩]
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25 comments for “Beyond the Blogging Crossroad II: The Woman on the Mirror”
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Wow. Hueg post, and a timely one for me… given that I’m taking a break from my blogging hobby. It’s certainly become a very strong and intertwined activity with my viewing and reading, and I don’t think it’s a bad thing at all.
It’s made my consumption a far more social activity and it’s very fun and fulfilling that way.
As for remembering love, when you feel it, you do. But you know you really love something when you’re working hard at spreading love for it even when you aren’t feeling particularly enthused, or when the franchise or its creators are taking directions you don’t like. That’s when you know there’s love.
This post brought tears to my eyes. For the first time, you have let me see a reflection of myself and my thoughts in another person, and through this reflection, I may have just assured myself of my position as a blogger and even in the grander scheme of life.
Tonight has been a long, strange, and awesome night, and you have just made it one of the most inspirational nights of my life. I think I have to go to my blog now. I think I have to create.
well i havent blogged in a while. after reading thru(some of) what you have wrote , the inner blogger in me is dying to come out again.
You could be at your editor pane remembering love.
Or you could go full screen and discover it.
I guess you’ve come to the same conclusion.
Instead you step out and explore the world, head out for an adventure, discover its beauty, get to know yourself in the process, and grow holistically.
Perhaps, I need more of this… my original ways… perhaps I should have never requested an ab.net domain… I wonder such things, but it’s irrelevant to blogging. I enjoy my various expressions… though as the days pass, I feel more and more alienated and useless, here and in RL.
Some things don’t matter, and what you think matters, doesn’t matter to anyone else… the hardest part is trying to convey and express that importance, and after hitting every wall, safety means expecting the next wall and either taking a turn or going through it.
Eventually, it’s all just so tiring… but in the briefest moments, there is still a flutter of energy… and that’s what allows one to proceed and create through alienation, discrimination, confusion, resistance, and ignorance…. painful and confusing, the show must go on.
Otherwise, we’re just like those who decided the show was already over. We never sleep, it’s 345am.
My struggle was accepting that not everybody would like me. I was so afraid of people judging me for reviewing licensed anime and manga instead of fansubbed and scanlated stuff that I forgot who I was, I was afraid of being myself.
I now incorporate my photos, and sometimes screenshots, into my blog posts to give a personal touch. It give a sense of “Yes, this is me who’s blogging this, taking these photos of anime and manga merch, writing this and being silly.”
And my dad still hasn’t gotten over the fact that I told him I’m becoming Catholic. He was raised Calvinist, heh. I’ve even started using “heh” instead of LOL because “heh” really communicates a gentle internal chuckle.
Most of all I like writing my fiction and articles, all the same taking photos of interesting things in the context of the surroundings of my life. I used to want to define my blog by my disability minority status, but now I just want to embrace being a complete human being.
lovely post, and the rilke quote really sums it up well.
Haha, we’re actually pretty the same in the manner that I’m also slow in absorbing what I’ve watched~
It often takes a week for me to write a coherent entry (well, not so coherent actually). I think this is helpful though because once I wrote something right after I watched it, it’ll certainly be a trash. — which is why I don’t strain myself writing an entry immediately after watching shows. You should not convince yourself to like it/ understood it when you haven’t yet. That’s one of the lessons I’ve learned through out this blogging years of mine. (Well, it’s not like that’s what your doing though).
I’m actually lacking of posts about my favorite anime(s) in my blog, not only because I can’t express my love in words— I just love them, the end, and I don’t think I really need to explain it why to other people
.
I don’t know but what you probably feel is also the pressure from the readers— I don’t have that so many readers, which is why I’m always carefree to decide when, where to stop and to continue blogging, but as for you, who is a regular one, I guess that must be the reason why you can’t stop blogging abruptly.
But hey, I don’t really think you’re being pretentious, and even if you are, it’s not bad right? I mean, it is natural after all for us to have each of our own personas in the internet.
My final say though is that, I think you could still express your love for anime even if you don’t try to watch it attentively. What plucks your soul is what you should write.
And, of course, your readers are always behind you.
It’s tricky. On one hand, yes, you need to enjoy what you’re doing if it’s going to be any good for you. But on the other hand, blogging exposes exactly what I believe writing is about: We write in order to be read. A book that never gets opened is just a sheaf of paper stained with ink.
You say you want to find something that motivates you to blog, something more than the mere hope that people will read and comment. But really, what else is there? Enjoying anime is one thing; blogging about it is quite another. On the bright side, I believe you can have your cake and eat it too.
To clarify that last point a bit…
I don’t think you should beat yourself up over not expressing your “true” anime fan-self online. If you worry so much about blogging that you don’t even feel like watching anime, of course that’s a problem. But I don’t think you’re there. You just find blogging to be a pleasurable activity in itself. That’s nothing to feel unworthy over.
Your post makes me look back into myself. My blog receives only light traffic from readers mostly because I post only when I want to post and I write only about what I want to write. So my blog ends up being irregularly updated and my posts are completely random. I don’t have much to lose. Yet I still love doing it. I think, in your case, having lots of readers is sometimes like having a rope around your neck. You can’t be completely free and this situation causes confusion and makes you question yourself.
I know I’ve assumed too much about you. please correct me if I’m wrong. great post, by the way!
Very nice post, I went back and read all for your earlier posts in the Crossroads series and I thought they were a wonderful look at your love of anime & blogging.
I think that you raise a valid point about the issue of whether or not blogging a series can ruin the viewing experience.
“Lately I find myself thinking, did I really like [insert name of series I blogged in the past], from the bottom of my heart? So much for spending more time blogging or thinking about blogging the said series instead of just basking in it and loving every moment of it, to the point of wondering why I even blogged it in the first place”
I do think that occasionally getting wrapped up in covering a series can ruin the viewing experience. Case in point; I dropped my coverage of Umineko no Naku Koro ni when I realised that my episodic coverage was sucking all the enjoyment and fun out of watching the series.
Also what struck me was your question about looking back and wondering if you really liked series ??????? from the bottom of your heart? All I can offer you about this question is if you were writing truthfully at that moment then your feelings were valid and true. We all change over time but that doesn’t lessen or cheapen your emotional response at that point in your life.
Now to the deeper issues.
“I don’t know what came into me, but suddenly I feel so confused. For the past two and a half years, who exactly was the usagijen blogging here? Was it really me, or a mere persona (or ‘nexistence’ in the words of lelangir) I created, a whole new beast and not really myself? But if so, then that means everything I’ve been doing here is a lie, which isn’t exactly the case.”
I don’t think that the “you” that was blogging here for the past two years or so is a lie. No matter how old we get there will always be a conflict between our public persona (the masks we are expected to wear due to family/societal/work constraints) and our “inner/truest” persona. So, I feel that if you were writing from a place of emotional truth then you were giving us (your readers) a glimpse behind your mask.
Well, in the end, all I can offer you is to blog from a place of emotional truth, if a certain anime touches you then that opinion is completely honest at that point in your life.
Ironically, I can only rediscover my reason for doing things I love (fiction and blogging) whenever I’m just… traveling. On the bus, walking through a mall, it just comes to me. Sometimes I just go on long but useless trips to reignite that spark within me. Distance makes the heart grow fonder, interpreted radically? Forgive me for rambling. I just found the Rilke quote striking.
Well, I’m kind of late to the commenting and much of what I wanted to say has already been said. I will add though that I’ve always thought you were one of the Great Bloggers who brought a unique style and perspective to the community.
@ghostlightning: you’re one of those people who can ‘ride the waves’ and come out on top of it, you’re the king of the world!, you’re filled with spiral energy, etc
Also, this post was triggered by my doubts on loving this one series which I’m not sure if I ended up liking just because someone else did. Perhaps I really loved it, or perhaps I was swayed by other people’s opinions. Either way I have to rewatch and see for myself if that ‘love’ is true
@digitalboy: thank you, you don’t know how happy that makes me TT__TT
@pp: if it’s screaming to get out, no need to hold it back now, right?
@introspect: thank you so much for making me realize that! One thing I really need to do though is to disengage myself from the ‘Activity Dashboard’ and not let it skew my thoughts and perceptions and even make me forget that I was indeed remembering love while blogging in the first place!
@Ryan: That reminds me of this quote from Ally McBeal: “The real truth is, I probably don’t want to be too happy or content. Because, then what? I actually like the quest, the search. That’s the fun. The more lost you are, the more you have to look forward to. What do you know? I’m having a great time and I don’t even know it.”
As Lenka’s song goes, just enjoy the show~
@kritik: thank you!
@foomafoo: Could THIS describe how you feel? In any case, I owe it to myself and my readers to just be honest, no matter what I write, sucky or not, coherent or not
@2DT: it’s natural to have the desire to be read, but I just thought this shouldn’t be the ‘prime motivator’. But yeah, as much as I hate doing something for the sake of pandering, if I enjoy what I do I guess that’s all that matters
@Canne: it’s just me and my attention-seeker self showing its fangs again, and I hate it when that happens because it’s nothing but a sign that I’m not really happy with the way I am. In the end, doesn’t matter whether it’s random or not, so long as you love what you’re doing!
@Chris K.: Thank you so much for that. For the series I blogged and just wrote down my thoughts write when I was watching it, for sure, I was being my truthful self. I think the problem comes in during the ‘not so spontaneous’ moments when I end up racking my brains to trying figure out what the heck I want to say, when the said thoughts aren’t really there in the first place?
But yes, I owe it to myself to be truthful in everything I say. It won’t be long before I snap out of this confusion hehe.
@schneider: Gotcha. I like it when these things just linger in your mind, effortlessly. I like it when what I watch and do linger that way with me, becomes part of my system like food. For it to have occupied a part of your heart and mind just shows how special they are~ <3
@Caitlin: aww, thank you so much. I’m flattered, but I don’t want to think of myself as a Great Blogger. Not just yet! I shall be humbled by that and just continue on doing what I want and what I do best (I think I’m discovering that as time goes on hehe)
Well GL’s comment pretty much summarises what I want to say XD.
Despite you find something cumbersome but you continue with it anyways shows devotion to it that you can be proud of. Also blogging becoming a very social thing is an upside to it even if it comes with several annoying downs. Having other people react to what you wrote is such a wonderful experience IMHO.
I just want to say how beautiful the “Catcher For U” picture is, it really catches the whole ssence of it wonderfully. Perfection.
@maAkusutipen: always good to see that your audience is not simply imaginary hehe. Have to be grateful for these responses, and not succumb to self-doubt when I don’t get them, something I really have to keep in mind ^^
@AMW: yes! much <33 for that artwork and the artist himself/herself!
Your post was a little tl;dr for me to find time to sit down and read until now, so sorry for the late comment.
There isn’t a whole lot constructively I can say that the others before me haven’t already said, but I just want to thank you for writing this heartfelt post. I think very, very few people have “figured it out” in life the way you seek, we’re really all still trying to do it, but this longing and search for self and purpose connects to all of us on a very basic, human level. We’re on the same journey; we’re there with you and we sympathize.
My advice:
1. Kick a puppy.
2. Think of someone who has bullied you. Then hurt him back.
In other words, spend a week being malicious and vengeful. Troll someone else’s blog (and put your heart into it). It’s not a sin according to the 10 Commandments. It’ll provide another perspective on human relations and that is a good thing in the long run.
@kadian1364: after writing this post I was like “Holy crap! over 2000 words what have I done x_x” and thought the tl;dr-ness will really drive away people hehe. All the more reason to be thankful to those who actually read it from start to end! So thank you so much ^^
@Marigold Ran: haha, exciting!
We’ll just have to see about that, when my troll genes get activated 
Once you break the fourth wall, you cannot simply put it back together.
More seriously, take a break from anime and listen to something else. I recommend German punk rock bands such as Rammstein or Apocalyptica. You can find it on youtube.
They totally rock. The atmosphere is different from the usual “kwaa kwaa” anime moe and angst. Also, I think you’d like Rammstein. He’s a got a really sexy German voice. I’d love to see your opinion of their performance at Bercy, “Ohne Dich.”
@moritheil: true that, and whether it’s a good or bad thing is for you to decide, how you’d paddle your way in blogging despite knowing that.
@Marigold Ran: I can recognize the Music Quality of Rammstein’s songs, but I’m afraid his voice isn’t sexy for me
To each his own I guess.