It’s been more than a month since I had this post in mind, but for some reason I decided to forget about the idea and even scrapped my draft post for this orz. But lo and behold, as Crusader opens up the topic about biases, I decided to give this post one more shot. Also because I’ve learned some insights from a book I’m currently reading, Why Men Love Bitches, as out-of-character as my RL colleagues and friends find it to be. Just for the record, I don’t really agree with everything that’s written in this book, because of several principles I adhere to, but it’s valuable for gaining insights on the nature of both men and women (and it EMPOWERS women), similar to the book Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus Before I divert any further from the topic, here goes…

As you can see, most (like 99%?), if not all, the bloggers of True Tears and KimiKiss are people born with a Y chromosome. But well, considering the measly number of female bloggers on the interwebz, I think it goes without saying that there will always be more guys blogging a series rather than girls (with a few shoujo or BL shows as exception). The thing is, aside from the values, principles, beliefs, etc. that we have, gender also plays a role in our biases in anime, particularly how we perceive characters, why we support a certain girl, or a certain character archetype for the lead guy (or a guy for the lead girl, in the case of reverse harems). Like why I support Noe and Asuka, as opposed to Hiromi and Eriko, for instance, which I will be delving on in this post.

Noe is Moe~!

While the preference of guys when it comes to female characters (or certain archetypes) is a projection of their ideal girl [romantic] partner in real life (if these guys have come to prefer 2D over 3D, I still think it’s a projection of their frustration over not being able to get that girl IRL), this doesn’t apply to normal hetero girls who are at the other end of the spectrum. In my case,　my preference and bias for certain female characters become a projection of the ideal girl I look up to, a role model of some sort. Hence, I typically like the optimistic, genki, strong and empowered type of girls, the category in which characters like Asuka and Noe (sans the aggressiveness and eccentricity) fall under. In a way, I consider those traits as moe+ points.

The plethora of Hiromi and Eriko fans got me thinking, how guys could love characters as bitchy or flawed as them. It’s not until recently that I felt this was a blow to myself, as well as other girls, the moment I realized that the very reason why I dislike them so much (as far as initial apprehension goes) is because I find them to be the spitting image of the self I want to get rid of. It’s like the exact same feeling of Nomiya in H&C when he looks at Mayama, who reminds him of the juvenile self he has come to hate.

In the case of Hiromi (and her accompanying stock archetype), I am reminded of my weak, pessimistic, indecisive, jealous, inferior, angsty self (I’m talking about the earlier episodes in this one, because Hiromi has more or less redeemed herself by the end of the series). The same goes with Eriko, who I can even consider my kindred soul, in terms of the loner-ness and inherent inability to open up to other people (which I hope I’ve already overcome through the years), as well as the similarity in our childhood past. If you’ve read my really emo Valentine post, you’ll have an idea as to what I’m talking about here. Too bad the anime decided not to delve in much about this anymore; otherwise it would’ve allowed more people to sympathize with Eriko’s plight, and realize why she became the Eriko that we know.

And now to address the issue of why guys are attracted to the Hiromi or Eriko types…

I remember T_I’s comment in one of my True Tears post:

…Shin has a complex that is not that uncommon within guys.

He’s attracted to another person’s sadness. He has been building this fantasy of wanting to be there for someone and taking their sadness away. Not only that, he’s quite deep into his obsession as you can tell by how melodramatic he is about it in his diary.

He’s not in love with someone. He’s in love with the idea of helping someone. And that’s different.

Although this speaks true for the most part, I’d say Sherry Argov, author of Why Men Love Bitches gives the more apt explanation for this:

When you appear more softer and feminine, you appeal to his instinct to protect. When you appear more aggressive, you appeal to his instinct to compete.

This reaffirms this hypothesis I had on the tendency of a guy to act as a knight in shining armor for that one special girl. Not to say that men are egotistical jerks (although you’d have to admit they naturally have that sense of ego, no matter how little or much, with the exception of some people), but I think being needed is a way for them to reaffirm their sense of worth. It allows them the opportunity to shower the girl with love, and in turn, allow the girl to love them back.

This also explains Shin’s attraction to Hiromi (rather than Noe), as well as Kazuki’s attraction to Eriko (rather than Asuka), and why a percentage of male audience prefers Hiromi and Eriko (or Mao and Yuumi) as well. And this could also explain the moe fandom in general. Nevertheless, I still maintain my stand that a woman should develop a sense of self-worth, identity, confidence and assertiveness, so as to make the relationship work out in the long run.

And finally, to end this post, I just like to say that despite the antagonism I feel towards certain female characters, I do believe that deep in the heart of a woman is that desire for a guy to love them, despite being a flawed Hiromi, Eriko, or what have you. (gawd I can’t believe I’m uttering all this cheesiness x__x;;; )

P.S. Feel free to correct what I mentioned here, because I know for a fact that these are rough generalizations and doesn’t apply to everyone. To each his own, after all.

Ok, so I managed to get some free time in the office to finish this post, before I leave~ I shall reply to the comments if I manage to snag a connection during my trip

I’ll save any comments I have on Mao x Kouichi x Yuumi after I watch the last episode of the series (which won’t be until next week coz I wasn’t able to bring my copy of the last KimiKiss episode with me T__T), as it will highly depend on what the outcome of this love polygon will be. For now, since we all know the glorious Asuka has been sealed a bittersweet ending, I’ll be showing how things would’ve went for her, if she was fated to have a happy ending. I’ll be providing snapshots of the second volume of the KimiKiss ~various heroines~ manga on this one, the Kouichi x Asuka arc.

The manga is just pure fluff, more ecchi and sweet (it’s a little bit contradicting I know), so much unlike the anime. While I applaud Kasai for successfully transforming the KimiKiss heroines into 3D realistic characters, it also became detrimental in that some of them became flawed and unlikeable, especially Mao and Kouichi.

So here’s this Asuka-centric post, for those who want to take a break from the serious drama of the KimiKiss anime, or those who want to see the alternate happy ending with Asuka x Kouichi

This will just be a more detailed version of what I posted in my previous deep frying, which was bundled together with the super more ecchi Mao x Kouichi route, among others x__x;;;

The Meeting

One sunny afternoon, Kouichi was on his way home, when he gets hit by a soccer ball. Thanks to this, he was able to meet the genki Asuka~

Kibina High doesn’t have a girl’s soccer team, which explains Kouichi’s surprise when he saw Asuka playing soccer. He was impressed by her love for the game, considering how she even goes as far as practicing with the guy’s team just to play the sport she loves. Now that I think about it, I actually wonder why Asuka chose Kibina High out of other schools which supposedly has a soccer team for girls :p

After seeing Kouichi’s potential in soccer (just because he successfully handled one of her passes lol), she asks him to be his practice mate. Kouichi was more than happy with the turn of events, considering that he’ll be able to spend time with a hottie! w00t! The attraction is clear right from the start. See all that blush in Kouichi’s face? btw, Mao has been completely left out of the picture on this one, so we see nothing else but Asuka x Kouichi’s own little world~

Getting To Know Each Other

The practice sessions paved the way for Kouichi to get to know Asuka better, more than just being a soccer fanatic.

One rainy day, with Kouchi unable to spend time with Asuka on the field, he finds her by the pool, waiting for the rain to abate. Kouichi waits a little while for her, and offers to share his umbrella as they walk home together. It was a moment of awkward closeness, which led Asuka to confess that it’s her first time to have ever done this with a guy. With this, Kouichi learns that Asuka has never had a boyfriend. The only confession she ever got in her entire life was from one of her female fans. As for guys, none of them see her as more than a friend. (same with Kazuki :roll:)

Love Coach Development

Aside from being Asuka’s soccer coach, Kouichi becomes her love coach as well. They spend time like a couple as part of this love practice sessions, going out on some sort of date as they go to the game center and such. Kouichi just turned a little ecchi as she suddenly asks Asuka if she wants to practice on kissing, in which she stops him midway. She tells him that kissing on the lips is like Olympic caliber, but a kiss on the cheek is alright. cute X3

Similar to the anime, Asuka asked Kouichi’s help in her studies because of her academic weakness. Kouichi was more than happy to be of help to the lovely Asuka. Asuka confides about her dream of becoming a professional soccer player to Kouichi, who agrees to support her in achieving that dream :3 Asuka managed to pass the exams thanks to Kouichi, so she gives him a reward *chuu*

The Special Move “Asuka Turn”

With the succeeding practice games they had, Asuka was able to perfect her special Asuka Turn move, a feat she thought to be impossible had it not been for Kouichi. It’s the labor of their love, so to speak

I would’ve liked it if the anime featured Asuka’s “Asuka Turn”, the affectionate name she gave for that special move of hers, shown in episode 23. That would’ve been real cool =/

The Confession

the steamy kiss scene. Could you believe that nothing else happens after this?

The last chapters featured Asuka and Kouichi on a beach-onsen exclusive overnight date, which showed some rather steamy scenes, especially the kissing scene after their confession. It manages to be sweet nonetheless, thanks to Asuka and Kouichi’s naiveness and blushful moments :3

Since the story of the manga just revolved around Kouichi and Asuka, it wasn’t surprising that they developed feelings for each other as they get to spend time together. Kouichi was already attracted to Asuka from the start, and that love grew as he got to know her better. Asuka has been harboring feelings for Kouichi since they met, but didn’t outright confess to him for fear of being rejected again. Kouichi himself hesitated to confess to Asuka for the same reason, as he considers himself as an ordinary guy compared to Asuka who’s like beyond his level (excels in sports, and is set on her dreams).

But, as Kouichi gains the courage to confess… Asuka is more than happy to know that he feels the same way for her too~ :3 Asuka was scouted for the Women’s Soccer League so she was sent abroad for three months training (from what I can remember). But of course, love prevails! And their love will remain strong despite the distance (and it’s not really permanent like Yuumi’s transfer) x3

Ok, I’d have to admit, my KimiKiss passion has been going dowwnnnn… especially after episode 21. Hence the lack of blog posts for the past two episodes. I look back at the very first KimiKiss post I made, and I can see that the flare is not as strong as it was anymore, sadly so. I’d still continue watching this show till the end, and see how things are going to turn out, but I don’t see it exceeding my expectations any time soon.

There are only two episodes left, and where is the Asuka confession? nada. The spoiler for episode 23 mentioned that Asuka will be scouted for the Women’s Soccer League, and will perhaps be offered training somewhere abroad, just like in the manga. Kazuki is happy for Asuka, but the latter’s sadness over her bittersweet lovelife keeps her from being 100% happy over this news. Surprisingly, stupid Kazuki still hasn’t figured out why she’s feeling all down and depressed. T_T

By episode 24, Eriko realizes that she likes Kazuki (wow, that was… slow… x_x), but then she joins the Mao and Yuumi emo fest soon afterwards (I don’t know if this is still driven by her guilt in episode 22, or the turn of events with Yumi’s transfer). She once again shoves Kazuki away, thinking that if she and Kazuki will someday break-up, then why enter into the relationship in the first place? => uhm, wasn’t this like settled way back ep20? This turn of events with Eriko is like a deja vu of what happened way back Eriko and Kazuki hooked up. T___T Really now, aren’t we supposed to be over with the Eriko emo-ing?!

Oh, and I forgot to add, in episode 24, we’ll also be seeing one-on-one conversations between the two boys and two girls in our other love quadrilateral. Kouichi x Kai, on the topic of Mao, and Mao x Yuumi, on the topic of Kouichi. Who knows, perhaps we’ll see this series settling for a BL and yuri ending, to complete the supposedly breaking the harem game adaptations stereotype gig they started.

Upon further reminiscence of past KimiKiss experience(s), I see this (in my episode 14 post).

…I haven’t watched the other romance offerings of the fall season to proclaim KimiKiss to be the most superior of them, but it is undeniably one of the best.

I guess I’ll be taking this back now. I hate to admit it, but I’m really disappointed with how this series turned out. I know I should reserve my judgments till the end of the series, but I think the spoilers make it clear that this show is not gonna improve with the last two episodes. KimiKiss had so much potential, but then things went down the drain when it reached the 2/3 mark. We see the comeback of Mao (and now Kouichi’s) emo angst fest, and how Asuka has been reduced to a minor ’standby’ character. If things were done right with the latter half of this series, we could’ve seen more developments on Hiiragi, Mitsuki, and Megumi (the now forgotten Student Council president), as opposed to the roller coaster ride of emoness. First with Mao, then with Kouichi, now with Eriko (the ‘deja vu’ chapter). Sigh… just, sigh… =_______________=

When KimiKiss started, I expressed my disappointment regarding how Eriko x Kazuki’s “relationship” came about. I’d have to admit, I didn’t like how that kiss became the initial springboard for this relationship. First of all, it seemed like a shallow reason to be attracted to someone, in the case of Kazuki. But then as the series went on, we’ve gradually seen how this attraction became more fatal, and deeper than a kiss. The kiss simply paved the way for Kazuki to see Eriko in different lights, allowing him to realize that there’s so much more to this girl than the cold genius she was perceived to be.

I don’t know if the staff read this blog or other forums, who had a similar sentiment regarding the “It Started With a Kiss” aspect of Kazuki and Eriko’s relationship. But I felt as if episodes 19-20 was made out to dispel the qualms of people who had this sentiment. To win the Kazuki x Asuka shippers to the Kazuki x Eriko side?

omgz, have I been converted to the dark (Eriko) side? D:

Eriko has thawed. That was made crystal clear in episode 20, where we also find out that her reason for pushing Kazuki away was because of the anxiety she’s feeling with this new emotion of love. She didn’t know how to deal with her feelings. She was bewildered at how her emotions are changing, how she’s falling in love with Kazuki, for reasons she can’t explain herself. She was hesitant to accept this at first, for fear that Kazuki’s feelings for her could so easily change as well. She realized how these emotions are making her fragile, which is why she tried so hard to shove Kazuki away. But of course Kazuki persisted till the end, and he proved himself as a man worthy of Eriko’s love. What Kazuki said to Eriko in episode 20, his assurance that his love for Eriko won’t ever change, were the very words she longed to hear from him. That was all she needed to dispel the doubts in her mind.

No, I did not cry at this scene. No, neverrr.

With all that I’ve said about Eriko, I think it’s also pretty clear that I’ve been thawed. Thawed of the bias I used to have against Eriko. I hate to admit it, but I cried with Eriko during that scene with Kazuki’s visit in episode 20. Noo… those are just my cheap tearsss D:

Happy Ending? Not When Asuka is Taken Into the Picture

Oh to bear the thought of seeing Asuka cry… ;___;

If you look at Asuka and her supposedly place in this love triangle, you’ll feel a little betrayed. Why? Because it seemed as if she served as nothing else but a fuel for Eriko and Kazuki’s love. When she cheered for them in episode 18 (or cheered on Kazuki to snap out from his dilly-dallying self in the early episodes), she literally went “加油”. She hasn’t even confessed, and yet she already lost the battle by default. Before she knew it, Kazuki and Eriko already sworn their love for each other. It might sound too pessimistic, for a supposedly Asuka fan like me, but that’s the way I see this series is going.

Now that Kazuki assured Eriko of his love, it would be all the more reason for him to reject Asuka’s love, if only to prove his love for her. Unlike before, Kazuki is now sure of his feelings for Eriko, and I don’t think a mere confession from Asuka, whom he has never seen as more than a friend (or even as a girl), will change all that. Despite my Asuka bias, I’d rather have Kazuki stick up for his love for Eriko till the end, now that their relationship has been solidly established. Otherwise, his words of assurance and his love for Eriko will just lose credibility.

If the producers of this show were intending to have Asuka enter the triangle and be a worthy competitor who will really spice up the triangle, they should have made her confess to Kazuki as early as episode 16, after she found out about the experiment. Instead of confronting Eriko, she could’ve confronted Kazuki, confessed her feelings with a kiss (and probably tell him to “look at her”), like Ai-chan did to Shinichirou in True Tears. Then both Eriko and Asuka would’ve made a strong impression on Kazuki, with a kiss of awakening.

With all that has transpired in the past episodes however, it’s natural for an Asuka fan to feel that it was unfair for the great soccer girl, to be left out of this supposedly triangle. When Eriko kissed Kazuki, she immediately had the head start advantage of gaining Kazuki’s attention. It made such a strong and lasting impression on him, that she immediately had the “more than a friend” treatment advantage. It seemed as if love is a race, in the eyes of Asuka who was at the losing end of the stick in this competition. Eriko got the first dibs on Kazuki (in a way) and made the strongest impression on him. She piqued Kazuki’s interest, and was immediately sealed shut in his vision as “the woman for him”. Asuka, who was forever in the sidelines cheering on Kazuki, simply became an additional accessory to make this pairing even more possible. Sigh T__T

What if you put Asuka into this picture? hmm~

I know that both Asuka and Eriko will end up learning from all these experiences, especially their awakening to love. Sadly for Asuka, it seems that she’s fated to have a bittersweet ending. It would’ve been tons better if the director started changing the direction of this anime, for a Kai x Asuka ending. Kai deserves someone better, same with Asuka. I actually wonder if this is possible, considering they’ve never even met, and there’s only 5 or 6 episodes away >_>””

On Mao x Kouchi x Yuumi

I wonder how things will fare for Yuumi~ >_<

This triangle is the one that has the intense battle factor, in that we still don’t know who will end up with who by the end of the series. Now Mao will be going back to France, to get over her feelings and move on. The one thing that will probably keep her from going is if Kouichi realizes that he really loves Mao, assure her of his love like Kazuki did to Eriko. Yuumi, as early as episode 20, is already open to the possibility of a Kouichi x Mao ending, but of course deep in her heart is a longing that she’ll be the one for him.

Yuumi’s monologue in episode 19 even felt like a parting message. A message of thanks to everyone who allowed her to change for the better, and made her see the vastness of the world. The message of someone who can already leave without regrets. We’ll see how things will turn out in this triangle, as more episode airs.

If I were to voice out my sentiments regarding episode 17, I’ll just end up ranting about the revival of Mao’s indecisiveness a.k.a bitchiness, as well as Asuka’s selfishness. Whilst the latter is arguably justifiable, because of our innate selfish human nature (cliche of a justification this might be regarding flawed actions of characters), I expected more from Asuka =/ The liberties the anime took in terms of adding flaws to Asuka’s strong (and thought-to-be almost flawless) character, shows nothing else but a direction in favor of Eriko x Kazuki. Now ridden with guilt, Asuka will most likely hope that Eriko and Kazuki’s relationship won’t end up in ruins because of what she has done. *sigh*

So instead of ranting any further, I decided to try something different, for the sake of relieving myself of these negative energies brimming in me. Let’s pause for a while, take a break from emo-ing, and instead, sing some hearty songs attune with the melodies of the KimiKiss web of relationships.

UPDATE: Yes, I’m such a slow poke that I already watched episode 18 before I got to finish this original post for episode 17, so I decided to do a combi-post instead. I still have mixed feelings for episode 18. I’m happy that Asuka decided to make-up for what she’s done, but then again it just confirms my hunch regarding the now guilt-ridden Asuka. We’ll see more of Eriko’s past from now on, and I think both Kazuki and Asuka will be able to sympathize with her more, the moment they find out about her family background. Oh man… now that I think about it, my childhood past is just like Eriko’s o__O (up to a certain extent…) Nuu… I should remain loyal to the Asuka fanclub >_<

(and due to my procrastination, KimiKiss episode 19 is gonna hit the airwaves any time now too >_>)

Kouichi x Yuumi

With the first few episodes, I would’ve dedicated the song Crush to this hopeless couple. But things change, they’ve grown in more ways than one, and are now prepared to take on the relationship for better or worse, in tune with Westlife’s Swear it Again.

…that is, until the striking confession from Mao in episode 18, which started to crumble what used to be such an ideal mutual relationship. Now Kouichi is dumbfounded and at a loss, wondering how the oh-so-radiant Mao-nee could like a plain guy like him. After all this time, he thought that Mao was out of his league (and simply a sister; or, the thought of her being more than a sister never crossed his mind…), but now things are different. He is currently torn between two lovers, and I just hope he’ll be able to make up his mind soon… */me prepares herself for the heartache this will cause*

Mao x Kai (x Kouichi)

With complicated relationships like this (mostly due to Mao’s ever confusion), it’s necessary to dedicate songs for the different parties involved in the relationship. Before episode 17, Mao was all torn between Kouichi and Kai. But now, finally, after many episodes of being all confused, she was finally able to come into terms with her feelings, and tell both Kai and Kouichi about it.

The perfect song for Mao (according to Owen, which I wholeheartedly agree with): The Places You Have Come to Fear the Most

Buried deep as you can dig inside yourself
And covered with a perfect shell
Such a charming, beautiful exterior…
This is one time, this is one time
That you can’t fake it hard enough to please everyone
Or anyone at all…

For Kai… Fool Again

I should’ve seen it coming
I should’ve read the signs
Anyway, I guess it’s over.
Can’t believe that I’m the fool again,
I thought this love would never end
How was I to know?
You never told me.

Mao’s song for Kouichi… My Boo

I loved you when we were younger you were mine
And when I see from time to time I still feel like,
And if I see you no matter how I try to hide
And even though there’s another [girl in your life], you will always be my boo

Eriko x Kazuki

There’s only one song that would best describe what Eriko is feeling… Love Hurts

Love hurts
love scares
love wounds and mares any heart
Not tough nor strong enough to take a lot of pain…
I know it isnt true
Love is just a lie,
Made to make you blue

Though seeing the Eriko flashbacks reminded me of this song from the classic anime Remi, Ai ni Tsuite (About Love)…

Ai ni tsuite nani mo shiranai keredo
Itsuka anata to meguriau made ni
Ai no nani ka wo shiritakute ashita mo
Kitto tabi wo ikiru
I don’t know anything about love
But until the day I get to experience this,
I’ll go on my journey [to the never-ending tomorrow]
filled with this desire to know what love is.

For Kazuki, I dedicate these two Dashboard Confessional songs:

Again I Go Unnoticed

Please tell me you’re just feeling tired
cause if it’s more than that I feel that I might break
Please send me anything but signals that are mixed
cause I can’t read your rolling eyes
out of touch, are we out of time?

And also… Ender Will Save Us All

It’s hard to explain how I am getting by
on so little from you.
It’s hard to believe that I would let myself
get so wrapped in you.
There’s got to be something that would
be worthwhile for me to give to you.
We need a connection but you
seem to push me far away from you.

Kazuki might have acknowledged Eriko’s decision to end the experiment, but we all know he still hasn’t given up on her. I really think these two songs capture what’s currently in Kazuki’s mind…

Asuka x Kazuki

Two songs dedicated for Asuka’s third-wheel status in the Kazuki x Eriko relationship >_>:

Mr. Brightside (more like Ms. Brightside, for Asuka)

It started out with a [soccer practice accident]
How did it end up like this
It was only [an accident], it was only [an accident]…
I just can’t look its killing me
And taking control
Jealousy, turning saints into the sea
Swimming through sick lullabies

Bizarre Love Triangle

Every time i think of you
I feel shot right through with a bolt of blue
It’s no problem of mine but it’s a problem I find
Living a life that I can’t leave behind
There’s no sense in telling me
The wisdom of a fool won’t set you free
But that’s the way that it goes
And it’s what nobody knows
While every day my confusion grows

And finally…

To all the ones who will end up in the losing bracket in the love tournaments triangles, I dedicate this one song especially for you: First Love by Utada Hikaru.

Whew~ Finally got this out. Sorry to have kept you guys waiting D:

Beware of spoilers ok? Just a word of warning, if the post title itself isn’t enough. Seeing the highlights of episodes 19-22, it seems that the roulette of love continues to roll, especially in the Mao x Kouichi x Yuumi x Kai love quadrilateral. We still don’t know who’s gonna end up with who, partly thanks to the lack of information regarding this quadrilateral from episode 21 onwards T_T

Due to the incessant demand(?) of fans, the spoilers highlighted the Asuka x Kazuki x Eriko, so I have no idea what developments will happen in the other love triangle (or quadrilateral), by the end of episode 22 >_>;;; evil Newtype!!! These spoilers already provide indicative information regarding how things will be cemented in the Asuki x Kazuki x Eriko triangle, so just beware~

Episode 19 - true heart

Preparations for the school festival starts, with the coming of the new semester in Kibina High. Kouichi is still confused as ever, doesn’t know how to act around Mao, now that he knows how she really feels for him. Kazuki continues to accompany Eriko in her “Why do people fall in love?” experiment, acting like her boyfriend. Until finally, Eriko comes to the conclusion, that “love can’t be borne from an experiment”.

Episode 20 - uncontrollable

Mao is still unable to control her emotions (and draw a line between her personal life and “work”, the shooting), and couldn’t concentrate in the filming with Kouichi. To Mao’s surprise, the person who gives her comfort at this time is no one else but Kai, with whom she already broke up with. Kazuki now realizes his true feelings for Eriko, and is determined to let her out of her [lonely] shell, despite having told by Eriko that the experiment is already over.

Episode 21 - cutting memory

After Eriko finds out how Kazuki feels for her, she once again goes out with him, making Kazuki happy as a lark (once again). On the other end of the spectrum is Asuka, who is hurt by the sight of the now reunited couple, despite having helped out intercede between the two before.

Episode 22 - time goes by

Asuka’s feelings for Kazuki grow as the days go by, and is especially affected by the current turn of events with Kazuki and Eriko, making her unable to concentrate in her club activities and the preparation for the school festival. Dim-witted/Slow Kazuki remains oblivious to Asuka’s strange behavior, but Eriko already knows why she’s acting that way.

Both episode 15 and 16, are such heart-wrenching episodes, especially from the perspective of a now distraught fan who can't decide between the two girls in the triangles *points to self*. Whilst True Tears is just starting to flesh out, episode 16 of KimiKiss is like the embodiment of "true tears" for me, the start of even more tear-jerker episodes (in a bittersweet way) from what I can see. The more this series turns into an exciting brawl, the harder it is to accept that one girl in the two triangles will end up having the short end of the stick, especially now that I see all the girls on almost equal 好感度パラメータ (likeability / romance factor), from a dating-sim gamer POV. Eriko blew me away with this episode, growing on me exponentially.

Mao x Kouichi x Yuumi

My deepest apologies for being all tsuntsun in analyzing Kouichi x Yuumi’s relationship last time. The latest two episodes made me turn all deredere for them again (and no I’m sure it’s not just a side-effect of Tokyo Marble Chocolate). I now take back what I said about the beach date. I must have lost my hopeless romantic self when I typed all that. As we’ve seen in episode 15, the beach was perfect, for both Kouichi and Yuumi, to relax and enjoy the moment they have, without fretting over what awaits them in the future. They’ve been pushing themselves too hard, especially Yuumi, filled with this desire to etch upon their hearts and minds a lasting memory of each other, before they get separated. Both of them want to have something to hold on to, more than the mere feelings of love they both share.

Do you remember [my Mao x Kouichi] love? (Sorry, I just couldn’t resist that lame pun) Well, I am now officially torn-in-between Yuumi and Mao for Kouichi. Impossible as it is, I also thought of how a threesome would be fine too. As much as I want Mao x Kouichi to become a couple, seeing how refreshing this development would turn out to be, I don’t think I’ll be able to bear the thought of Yuumi and Kouichi getting separated. To think that Yuumi is so assured of their relationship, with Kouichi’s promise of forever…;___;

Before watching episodes 15 and 16, I was intending to point out that the change of route the anime took in contrast to the novel (making Mao take the lead role, instead of Yuumi) might be suggestive of a Mao x Kouichi ending possibility. What I failed to note however, even when I was just reading through the spoilers, is Mao’s condition for accepting the role: for Kouchi to promise that he will make Yuumi happy. Now then, will Mao stand in between the blooming relationship of these two, pursue the love she longs for, yet cause both Kouichi and Yuumi pain and sadness? I don’t think so. Mao would rather be in the sidelines, continue her martyrdom of looking out for her brother, no matter how painful it is. Hoping that in time, Kai’s love (and kiss) will drown all the sadness away, and that she will learn to love him too. If there’s anything that will turn things for a Mao x Kouichi ending, it’ll be Kouichi’s change of heart, and I think we’ll see glimpses of struggle in his part, as was hinted in episode 16.

Asuka x Kazuki x Eriko

Moving on to the other triangle, we see major developments in Eriko in the latest episode of KimiKiss. With her dead silence in episode 15, and her decision to ignore Kazuki’s calls, we can see how she’s not simply experiencing feelings of jealousy. Yes, she might have become a little insecure, seeing how close Kazuki and Asuka were during the soccer match. But more than that, I think what she realized is how she might just be a burden to him, and perhaps his relationship with Asuka, seeing how he doesn’t seem as happy when he’s with her. Well of course normal people like us know that the reason why Kazuki is so tense around Eriko is because he sees her as someone special, more than just a friend, but that’s beyond her.

Even without Asuka telling Eriko about how she’s simply toying with Kazuki’s feelings, I think she might have realized this already, which is another likely cause as to why she’s distancing herself from him. She was struggling with loneliness, jealousy, guilt, and other pent-up frustrations that she’s probably hiding beneath her expressionless façade. She went back to being her expressionless self in these past two episodes, from what I can see. Perhaps she’s holding back her feelings, finding the change in her emotions as of late as something delightful but also deplorable, and overall weird for someone like her who’s but new to these feelings.

Asuka on the other hand, lacked some understanding in the way she dealt with Eriko. Jealousy got the better of her. /me gives Asuka some spanking T_T She should’ve known that Eriko lacks some sense of normalcy, which is why she shouldn’t have questioned her intentions for the kiss and the experiment. The reason why Eriko is even doing this in the first place is because she practically doesn’t know anything about love, or kiss, or whatnot. What seems to be such a normal thing for Asuka and other people, to the point of not even questioning it, finding reasons, is something beyond Eriko.

But of course, we can’t blame Asuka for her actions. Her reaction is but normal, understandable and justifiable, considering her perceived “insensitivity” of Eriko, though it’s not really admirable. She became gloomy and pessimistic in this episode, and let her emotions get the better of her. Talk about some disparity between her and Eriko… Asuka’s actions showed nothing else but a lack of understanding of both Eriko, as well as Kazuki’s feelings. This felt like a déjà vu of some sort, as I recall a similar Asuka x Eriko incident in the library before. Only this time, it’s far more fatal, considering the piercing and painful words Asuka uttered, and Eriko’s fragility at this point. Hopefully, Asuka will reflect on what she’s done and apologize to Eriko. I can already see hints of guilt from her, after having said those words to Eriko. Her actions were all from impulse anyways, more than anything.

Go and make up for what you’ve done Asuka! To think that I even defended you with all my heart in episode 14, only to see you become like this T__T

Random Stuff / Trivia

Anyone noticed that the movie Kouichi and Yuumi watched is yet another Korean drama, A Moment to Remember, a touching yet tragic story of how a couple faced the burdens caused by Alzheimer’s disease. First it was the Winter Sonata parody, and now this. This time around however, I think this movie has some significance regarding the Mao x Kouichi x Yuumi triangle. One way or another, Kouichi would have to forget either Mao or Yuumi, for the romantic relationship he plans to pursue. He can’t continue prioritizing Mao-neechan over her girlfriend, like what he did in episode 16. He’d have to learn how to detach himself from her, be concerned, but not too much. This’ll be another struggle on Kouichi’s part. >_<

Despite having said much about Mao and Yuumi’s relationship with Kouichi in my last post, I’m actually more excited for the love triangle involving our carrot-type guinea pig soccer guy Kazuki. I owe much of this to my Asuka bias, especially with a love like hers that’s so ideal and cute that it makes me all the more love her character. Asuka certainly stood out in this episode, which makes me a happy fangirl of course. Go go Asuka~!! o(^^o)(o^^)o Allow me to point out several things as to why I think Asuka and Kazuki should end up together, at least not until I find another development in Eriko which I’ll be delving on later in this post.

This is going to be Asuka-fangirl-centric (I feel like Nana or other Asuka fans now lol)

Kazuki x Asuka

If I were to give one brief explanation as to why Asuka should be the girl for Kazuki, it’s for the simple reason that she brings out the best in him. With all that has happened in the past, the very person who allowed him to grow balls is no one else but soccer girl Asuka. Her cheerfulness and optimism is infectious, and I think we’ve seen that in how she became the real catalyst to the change in Kazuki (Eriko made her realize that he has to change (though faint), while Asuka showed her why he has to change, and how he should go about doing this).

Among all the characters in the show, Asuka is the most well-rounded. Her awakening to love made her even more endearing and admirable, as she continues to stay by Kazuki’s side, holding on to that faint hope that he will love her too. With the time they spent together and the trials they have gone through, the heated arguments and banters, they have become great partners, may it be in soccer or in their personal lives (sans romance). The perfect example of how a mutual give-and-take relationship should be.

They help out each other for sheer love, without asking for anything in return. Their love might not be on equal pedestals at this point (Asuka now looks at Kazuki in a special way, while Kazuki continues to see her as nothing more than a friend), but it would be great to see a love like theirs, founded in friendship, to blossom into something more.

Now this is where the problem comes in. Despite how great it is for a love to be founded in friendship, as I mentioned, this relationship is a two-edged sword in itself. Taking Kazuki for instance, with his friendship with Asuka, he is able to show who he really is, with no holds barred. He doesn’t need to put on a pretense of the “ideal guy”, as he tries to conform himself to what will make him win her heart (as with Eriko’s case, since Kazuki is still trying to know what makes her tick, despite having nothing else but pure intentions, or so I hope). But then, this is all because he doesn’t see Asuka as anything more than a friend. He doesn’t even see her as a woman, for goodness’ sake. In the same way as he finds himself so comfortable in her company, he also limits himself from the possibility of having a romantic relationship with her.

The great transition from friendship to romance would be the turning point in the relationship of these two. A confession from Asuka is most likely going to happen sooner or later, and I just hope Kazuki doesn’t outright reject her for Eriko. He should give her a chance, at the very least, and allow himself to re-evaluate his love for Eriko, and his love for Asuka.

Before I end my Asuka fangirling, I just like to say that I love what she said in this episode. How she considered her injury as nothing else but a sign of strength. She didn’t allow herself to succumb to pessimism of what she cannot do with her injury, but focused on what lies ahead, once she gets over this trial in her life. This doesn’t only show the strength of Asuka’s character, but also her love for Kazuki. She wanted him to be free from any guilt, and even cheered him on to do his best. She looks out for his welfare, in the same way as Kazuki did for her (and even more).

Kazuki x Eriko

First of all, Kazuki’s attraction to Eriko started with a kiss, which became the springboard to his fatal attraction to the charming cool beauty Eriko. Not that I have anything against this, because one of the areas KimiKiss is actually trying to explore, from what I know, is whether a kiss could be the catalyst to love, or the other way around. But I don’t think compares with how the relationship between Kazuki and Asuka blossomed, albeit being one-sided.

One major complexity of the relationship between Kazuki and Eriko, is how the love between these two completely different individuals can work out, considering how they live in different worlds, as Hiiragi has also pointed out a number of times.

Let me point out one of the major issues that need to be resolved with regards to this complexity. As we all know, Eriko is naive when it comes to love, and about normalcy in general. We see her blossoming into a person who experiences love, loneliness, and now in episode 14, she experiences hurt and jealousy. Hurt by how Kazuki prioritized the soccer match than spending time with her, and jealous over Kazuki and Asuka’s closeness. These feelings of hurt and jealousy will continue to consume her, and she will not lose this sense of inferiority, unless she gets to develop in this social aspect (and emotional aspect) of her life.

Kazuki has already gone through quite a lot in dealing with his own complexes. His ego was crushed by the cool beauty Eriko, but still he rose up and sticked with her experiment adventures. In the same way, his decision of choosing the soccer match and improving on his own character simply showed how he’s shaping up to become THE MAN, either for Eriko or Asuka. With this, we can say that Kazuki is now secure in most areas in his life, socially and emotionally, in particular, areas where Eriko needs further developments.

Based from the experiences of people I know, I’ve learned that, before jumping into a romantic relationship with someone, both people should be in their clear, stable, and sane minds. They should have already established their identity as individuals, and not get into the relationship for the sake of finding themselves complete in it. That certain need of having the other person complete them will be detrimental to the relationship, IMO, since it’ll make you selfish, more than anything. And the pain is much more difficult to bear once you loses the very person who you thought completes your life. This is also why I find the famous Jerry Maguire line of “You complete me” to be one of the worst. ever.

Given this, what Eriko needs at the moment, more than anything, are friends who will make her see her real place in this world, how she can be accepted by people despite her eccentricity, how she can live like a normal person despite being a genius, and eventually, allow her to realize what she’s truly worth, without the need for a boyfriend or romance in general. I think Asuka might be the key person to help her out in this aspect.

mini Conclusion

I therefore conclude that with the current state of things, Asuka remains to be the best match for Kazuki. If Eriko develops into a holistic person, then I’d consider her as someone who can be the girl for Kazuki. But whatever happens, I will remain a Kazuki x Asuka shipper \o/

A little bit of overall thoughts on KimiKiss thus far…

I haven’t watched the other romance offerings of the fall season to proclaim KimiKiss to be the most superior of them, but it is undeniably one of the best. KimiKiss started out as nothing else but a simple tale of high school romance, which initially attracted viewers with its non-conformance to typical harem romance stereotypes. Having read the manga and the novel beforehand, I was able to appreciate much of the changes made to the show, with its additional characters, and “plot” changes. Described as a vanilla show by most people, with the lack of fanservice or moe spice we usually see, it managed to stand out despite its simplicity. We’re already halfway through the series and yet we’re still at the edge of our seats, wondering who will end up with whom as the series draws to a close. “Unpredictably predictable”, as CCYoshi puts it, is but apt to describe this.

This unpredictability is one of the aspects which compelled me to analyze the relationships in KimiKiss, with the coming of each episode. It’s much to my surprise that I never seem to run out of things to say for this series, for the characters and the relationships involved. To those who have joined me in this ride, you can see how my perceptions of the characters have changed as the series went on, how Mao has especially grown on me despite my initial apprehension for her. I think I also owe much of that to Mike of Anime Diet, with his post in defense of Mao. With Owen’s response to my previous post in defense of Eriko on the other hand, I realized how I became too logical in analyzing her development, as I confined myself in this sandbox of “reality” which limited by understanding and open-mindedness.

In all this, I found all the characters of KimiKiss endearing, real as they are portrayed to be. Despite my biases for certain characters and couples I’m rooting for, I can honestly say that I’ll be happy with whatever outcome the series will have. Though of course biases will still be present, if that’s not evident enough in my “shipping”.

KimiKiss have already given me much; not necessarily life-changing, but thought-provoking ideas and circumstances which allowed me to grow as a person. I want to broaden my perspectives, which is why I want to stand by this show until the end. It’s also for this same reason that I would all the more appreciate comments from my readers, a reality-check of some sort, to see whether people agree or disagree with whatever I’m posting here.

The initial title I had for this post is “KimiKiss Episode 14 - "Don’t Promise Me Forever…"”, and I wonder what difference this change in the post title made caused. Would you have most likely ignored this post with that title? I’m just curious…

Before you go and respond to this post, do note that I have yet to include my thoughts on episode 15 in this post. Also, for now, this post has no eyecandies, and I wonder if that affects your willingness to read my usual “tl;dr” posts.

Kouichi x Yuumi

In retrospect to Kouichi’s courageous declaration in the last episode, there’s another thing I’d like to point out, his utterance of “forever” (We’d still be together forever, even if you transfer schools). As romantic as this might be, I think it speaks of nothing else but a sense of disillusionment, a proof that they haven’t come into terms with the harsh reality that nothing lasts forever. I would’ve preferred Yuumi to smack some sense into Kouichi by refuting his words, and perhaps tell him “Please don’t promise me forever, for it will only break my heart [someday]…”, reminding me of the song “Promise Me You’ll Try”

Don’t promise me forever
Don’t promise me the sun and sky
Don’t pretend to know
you’ll never make me cry
Just hold me now
And promise me you’ll try

Even until now, Kouichi and Yuumi are still living in a dream. They have it all too easy. They have no [aggressive] rivals; they’re head over heels for each other. They are far too focused on each other to see the tons of other possibilities that lies ahead of their relationship (and the possibility that they might not really love each other after all, in the truest sense of the word). I’ve mentioned it for who knows how many times before, that I do not see depth in Kouichi and Yuumi’s relationship. After what seemed to be Kouchi’s amazing declaration in the last episode, their relationship remains shallow and just dreamy. Kouichi x Yuumi shippers, feel free to defend this couple to enrich my perspectives.

I understand that Kouichi is naive when it comes to relationships, but I did not admire his indecisiveness in this episode, and his mindset with regards to how he should spend the remaining time he has with Yuumi to the fullest (and why is he thinking of having an overnight stay at that lodge o__O). As Mao pointed out, what matters most is not where they go but HOW they’re going to spend their time together. In my opinion, their time will be more well-spent if they do other worthwhile activities, not just a date by the beach. One might argue that if two people love each other, every time they spend together will be memorable. Yes, but wouldn’t it be even more memorable if they do something enjoyable yet meaningful as well? Like, take up classes or workshops together, be involved in outreach activities, or do a part-time job together. Activities that might allow them to become one step closer to their dreams. Activities which might even turn out to be life-changing.

Sometimes I feel like asking Kouichi, if he knows what the point of his relationship with Yuumi is. From what I can see, it’s like he’s just in love with Yuumi. He’s hanging on to his first love, for whatever reasons I am not clearly seeing. It’s also the same for Yuumi. Sometimes love just ain’t enough, as the song goes. With a love that is not deeply-rooted, it will be nothing else but an ephemeral emotion, which will become a fleeting memory of the past, sooner or later.

Novel deep frying insert:

Despite how I don’t like the kiss fiend Kouichi in the novel, as I ranted before, I actually liked the development of his relationship with Yuumi there. Both of them felt as though they were “kindred souls”, who shared a lot of similarities. Both of them were able to notice each other’s presence, despite how “invisible” they were from the rest of the people. I think this was also tackled early on in the anime, but then we can see how Yuumi gets along well with her girl classmates. They also share this common weakness of dealing with people (especially of the other gender). They vowed to change their passive and cowardly selves… together~ The novel actually showed them gaining the courage to make new friends, which is really good imo.

Now when Kouichi asked Yuumi to “officially” go out with him, he told her how he wants to know her better, to spend more time together with her, to experience more kisses with her (/facepalm at last words). I have yet to see episode 15 in its entirety, so I’m not sure if Kouichi mentioned something along these lines. But I really want Kouichi to say this to Yuumi, or to at least think of their relationship this way. I want to see them talk about, life, love, dreams, etc. I don’t know if there’s just something wrong with my eyes, but I don’t think I’m seeing this… In the anime, we see them talk about their daily experiences, happy thoughts, etc. Yuumi is also helping out Kouichi reach his dreams. But for some reason I still don’t sense depth in these conversations (although I know, “depth” is pretty much subjective).

…the rest of this deep frying has something to do with episode 15, so I’m reserving the rest of this deep frying for that post (though I have mentioned much about this in my comment to Stripey’s post).

Mao x Kai

It’s becoming clear that Mao has feelings for Kouichi (even without having read the spoilers, the hints in the past episodes were enough to prove this). With the look of the spoilers, it seems that the anime is heading towards the Mao x Kouichi path, which I also prefer. There’s gotta be a reason why the movie was centered on the theme of childhood friends, right?

Despite knowing all this, Kai decides to stand by Mao and support her, be a crying shoulder if things turn for the worst (I hope that won’t happen >_<). I love Kai, which is why I think he deserves someone better than Mao, someone who will reciprocate his feelings wholeheartedly. Even if Kai doesn't get to have a romantic happy ending, he has already learned much from all that has happened, particularly when Mao came into his life. He was able to see that having someone by his side (a friend, or something more) who bears witness to the events in his life, is certainly better than isolating himself from the rest of the world. With all this, he realized that opening up to someone, being warm and friendly, isn't bad after all. In this episode especially, the glimmer in Kai's eyes is evident, seeing how Mao is happy for him now that he's gotten closer to his dream of becoming a musician. Kai is all shy about it *^-^* But of course this is a two-edged sword. The more Mao does all this for him, the more he gets to love her, and all the more painful to know that she doesn’t really love him back, not the way he wants.

Mao x Kouichi

A random observation… Mao mentioned “Kouichi rashii” (that’s so like Kouichi) a few times in this episode, which I also think is another “hint” for the possible Mao x Kouichi ending. Kouichi was becoming out-of-character, as he was focusing on the wrong things in his relationship with Yuumi. Mao made him realize this, and brought him back to his feet. She knows Kouichi that well. She knows him far more than her own, actually, which explains all the confusion episodes she’s been going through.

As I’ve also mentioned in the AS forums, I’m still waiting for the day Kouichi gets to realize the possibility of him loving Mao, in a non-platonic way. Mao’s kiss in episode 10 contributed to that a little bit, but since she continues to put on the facade of a “sister”, Kouichi brushed off that certain possibility (for now). The tides will turn once he realizes Mao’s feelings for him, as it will make him come into terms with that possibility. I will prefer it if Kouichi will realize his feelings for Mao through some other device plot however. Like, make him realize his feelings for Mao after he experiences how it is to be apart from her (seeing how Mao is happy with Kai? and perhaps realize that he can’t live without her?), or by realizing how everything happened because of Mao, the change in his character, the “relationship” he now has with Yuumi.

I’m saving my thoughts on the Asuka x Kazuki x Eriko triangle later, since I love Asuka enough to dedicate a whole post in defense of her and how she’s supposedly the best match for the guy

Got my Newtype magazine a few days ago, and decided to share the spoiler tidbits provided. So here I am, the bunny chef, to serve you the spoiler platter for KimiKiss #15-17 :3

The mini summaries seem to be Mao-centric, as nothing much was said about the other characters (and couplings) in the show.

Prepare to be spoiled~!

Episode 15 - now’s the time

Kouichi and co. starts with their filming, but with the lead actress Yuumi still unable to adapt to the acting performance (especially the kiss scene with Kouichi), the group barely progresses. As such, Kouichi and Yuumi asks Mao to take her place. Mao accepts the role, under one condition: that Kouichi will make Yuumi happy.

Episode 16 - stand in

Filming continues with Mao now taking the role of the lead actress. Standing by the sideline observing Kouichi and Yuumi getting along well together has finally made Mao come into terms with how she likes Kouichi.

Episode 17 - her answer

Mao couldn’t seem to get Kouichi off her mind, even when she’s with Kai. Kouichi on the other hand, finds Mao-nee acting weird around him, and tells her about this sentiment.